One of the biggest statements that he made was that he has a Google alert for anything with ‘Gears of War’ in it and that he and the team read as much as they can so they call get the feedback, this includes forums posts too. What better way to test this statement by giving the TIMJ view on what should be considered next for Gears of War.

Ok, so this may be a long shot but here is hoping the powers the be make this article pop up on Cliffy B’s alert box so he can become a friend of TIMJ, and possibly comment on my thoughts.

The first thing that I would like to comment on is the co-op. After the first game, we (as fans) asked for ‘Gears’ to allow us four player co-op. Instead we got ‘Horde’ to play, which allowed up to five players to work together, to fight against waves upon waves of the locust horde. This game mode was excellent for a while but I thought needed some variation between levels, possibly some rotation between the different settings to allow more flexibility. A good idea to could be to add specific mission objectives into the mix, key areas that that players have to take, or tasks to complete during each level.

The second point here, I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we would like to see actual four player co-op throughout the story mode. It’s all well and good allowing us to play just as Marcus and Dom, but it would be nice to play as some of the other main characters too. What could be even better is to give players the choice of who they’d like to play as throughout the campaign, maybe using a selection screen like you would see in Left 4 Dead, allowing the player to pick their own character to play through the story, adding extra replay value.

The story is something that is well presented but needs a lot more character depth. Exploration into Marcus and Anya’s relationship would be good, there is obviously some sexual tension between them, possibly showing some potential vulnerability. It would also be nice to have a section of the story that delves into Marcus’s past maybe witnessing him storming his father’s house to rescue him.

Further investigation into what the locust are doing with the humans is clearly the next step, and finding out where the creatures originated from soon is key. The plot at this moment seems to point towards them being genetically created, it would be good to clarify that. Ty was a character that I personally liked, and in the Gears 2 narrative I really wanted to see what made him take his own life, what horrors he saw. A flashback moment, or maybe introducing a new character would explain this; one that survives the torture and is rescued, then you can delve into that a bit more by allowing him to tell his story.

I felt the same after Gears 2!

The weapon and armour on Gears have always suited the mythology and the characters themselves, however the one thing that would be nice would be to have a little more variety with them. One way to achieve this could be character classes and have more than just one type of each weapon. There is also nothing preventing upgradable weapons and armour to be more effective against your enemies. I personally (surprise surprise – Andy) see no reason why an RPG element can’t be added into gameplay, and the above would be one way to achieve that. Also, that silly button bashing mini-game needs to go. It’s okay the first couple of times, but with no variety it’s a little boring.

The level design is something I have always liked but why not remove some of that linearity, give us room to explore or make difficult choices. I’m not saying make it an open world game, but even that could make an interesting concept or spin-off (hint hint). Allowing the player to take on missions in their own time and in any order would be a nice twist on an old format. Being able to explore Sera, above and below ground, would be brilliant. You could even have it so that you travel the world and enter ‘dungeons’ (linear levels) tying in both types of gameplay.

Finally the multiplayer, which turned out to be a bit of a game breaker with GOW2. It’s an untouchable experience when it works, however I think the next game cannot be released in the state GOW2 was. The online infrastructure needs to be 100% bedded down before it’s release to Joe Public. I know it’s a hard ask but nobody likes continuous title updates, look at what happened with not only GOW2, but what’s also happening currently with Modern Warfare 2; people won’t wait around forever.

So, Cliff, I hope you’re reading this and that you take some of these suggestions on board. I think you guys do a good job but there is nothing stopping you from improving that award winning formula. I’m also sure that some of our readers and other staff have some suggestions too, or maybe they just want to disagree with my selection of changes that I’d make.

We love you, but please for the love of god, give us a Gears of War that works properly and will make us want to play through that storyline more than the once, and not feel unsatisfied and demoralised by the end of it. For a free, no obligation consultation, tweet me up on @zerocool3397 or just email me. I promise it’s for the good of the COG’s.

Multiplayer gaming is what people look to more often than not these days, but for me, I like to take into consideration games that my partner (Kirsty) can play with me. The amount of co-op games is on the rise, some good and some bad, but the shift is obvious; co-op is the new single player!

So, what’s the attraction of co-op gaming? For me it’s because I can hold a conversation with Kirsty that doesn’t involve any over- explanation because she doesn’t have a clue what I’m on about. Co-op is also something that we can do together and work as a team which beats playing with yourself (no pun intended… well maybe a little). You can discuss tactics and have a laugh, and you can also explore the story together. The main problem when it comes to co-op gaming is finding a decent game to play, so I have decided to do you a list with my recommendations in no particular order.

Halo 3 and ODST

Let's take a drive.

That’s right folks you guessed it, Halo! So, it’s been out a while and you may have already played it, but have you played it with up to three of your mates? If not then that’s ok, there is time for you yet. Halo features up to four player co-op so if you want to start your co-op experience I would start here. Halo 3 may not be the longest game made but if you start on the normal difficulty then increase it once you have finished it once, you can get some real fun out of this game. It also has one of the most brilliant stories in any game, as well as one of the most iconic characters ever.

The same accusation of a brilliant story can be said for ODST which focuses more on stealth and picking your fights, rather than a gung-ho attitude. The story also differs from that of Halo 3 as it’s the first time in a Halo game that you don’t play ‘The Master Chief’. This produces two unique challenges to keep you and your chosen partner(s) occupied. If you do get ODST as well, be warned that you also get all of the maps packs (except for the newest one that was released the other week) for Halo 3 and the multiplayer component is on a separate disk.

Verdict: Both these games are great for beginners as they both have a varied spectrum of difficulty settings and really are two different experiences set in the same universe.

Borderlands

Sniper and a Siren sitting in a tree... S.h.o.o.t.i.n.g...

Borderlands approaches storytelling very differently in comparison to other games of its type. There is a beginning, middle and an end, which is all you really need to know. The story is pretty much told through the missions that you can undertake as and when you have unlocked them and in any order. This also features up to four player co-op too or just two player on the same console split-screen. This title literally has hundreds of hours of gameplay, if you fancy completing it as each of the four different characters. There is also a comedic feel to the game and many times you will be laughing at how over the top it is.

Verdict: Because Borderlands is a RPG, you upgrade your abilities as your character gains a level, adding extra depth and another reason to keep playing. With over a hundred missions, what better game to play with others?

Left 4 Dead (1&2)

I don't think we're alone...

What’s not to be said for zombie killing, is there anything that’s more fun?! What better way to spend your evening than to allowing up to three of your mates to partake in hunting the undead (or is it you that’s getting hunted… the lines are a bit blurry). With two games to own and play, there really is a good reason to own both, mainly due to how they provide two different experiences. This game speaks for itself, it doesn’t need a story (survive, that’s about it) and can have you jumping all over the living room in an effort to evade the blasted witch that keeps chasing you at every turn. The other good thing about this game is atmosphere with a capital A. Once you learn the tell tale sounds and have the volume up high and the lights out, you really do get drawn into a zombie apocalyptic where you create your own stories in gameplay. Absolute mayhem.

Essentially you are in a team of four throughout the levels, but if there is only three or less of you, the other members are replaced by the ever helpful AI. A good reason to own both is that you can use melee weapons in the second one; there is nothing more satisfying than killing a zombie with a frying pan (THUNG!).

Verdict: A co-op game that on harder levels really does require and reward team ethic.

Gears of War (1&2)

Marcus and Dom. You can cut the sexual tension with a chainsaw.

Gears is one of those games that just makes you want to play through all the way, even if it’s only the once. Both are fantastic games and although the second game added some nifty features, the original is still the better. Now, even though there are four main characters, Epic didn’t make it a four player affair so you will have to pick one of your mates to join you. Disappointing, but at least you can still play with a friend (seriously I’m not trying to be rude… it just keeps happening).

Verdict: With its cover and flanking system at the heart of it, and a story written with co-op in mind, this is a great game to play with another.

Army of Two (1 & 40th day)

I think I love you, man.

These are two of my favourite co-op games, and I think they should only ever be played in co-op due to the terrible partner AI that you have to contend with when you are on your own (seriously I don’t think it ever kills anything). Salem and Rios are awesome characters and they have a proper ‘bromance’ going on which keeps you entertained if nothing else. The game is pretty much designed to be played co-op and you can reward your partner or bash them over the head if needs be. You also have to do things as a team like hoist your partner up a wall to cover you from up high or hold a shield and have your partner shoot everything from behind you. Working together is essential and there is not many better games in which to do that.

Verdict: Like with Gears of War, this is a game with the co-op aspect at the very core of the experience.

Lego Star Wars/Indiana Jones/Batman

Don't get any ideas Luke, she's your sister.

They’re silly, stupid, OTT and spoofs the respective franchises perfectly, whilst keeping to the original stories.  They’re also bloody hilarious while never uttering a single word. You get to play a vast selection of colourful characters, each with different abilities that require you them to work in sync to get through the levels. These games need no write up and if you’re now looking at this article and saying the words ‘it’s a kid’s game’ you really don’t know what you’re missing. Trust me when I say, playing the Lego games are some of the best times that I have had with another human being (not including the obvious).

Verdict: Great to play with a friend, but if you want these games for online play then look away, as for most of the Lego titles the co-op is local only. Also keep an eye out for Lego Harry Potter which is coming soon.

Resident Evil 5

Chris: 'My bicep is bigger than your head Sheva...'

Yet another helping of resident evil, only minus the zombies and the horror. Although this game isn’t like any of its predecessors, the split-screen/online co-op is thoroughly enjoyable once you get used to the controls. This game works far better in co-op, and even though there aren’t many things to do as a team, you really have to communicate while taking on enemies and bosses. The only atmosphere in the game is the overwhelming sense of urgency, making you work heavily as a team and that is why this is on the list, but if you want zombie carnage look elsewhere.

Verdict: Subtle use of co-op, but as enjoyable as any of the games on the list.

So, that’s my list of great co-op games and I know that you’re thinking I have missed a few. There are a few that maybe could have been considered, such as Modern Warfare 2, Rockband and the like; however that’s just the way it goes. Just for you guys (who are fussy) I will name a few more games for you to have a go on when you have finished the above ones.

Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter (1&2): Reasonable co-op experiences, however the second is easily the better with its own separate co-op levels. Best played in a four (or more) man team, whilst drinking.
Rainbow Six Vegas (1&2): Both games co-op components follow the story missions, but the enemy AI is frustrating at times.
Kane and Lynch: Dead Men: Fun till the novelty wears off and has little or no replay value. Also tries to be like the movie HEAT, minus the class.
Crackdown: Brilliant game but no split-screen, you need two Xbox’s and two copies.
The Simpsons game: Tries to be like the Lego series. Only mildly amusing, but worth trying though.
Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3: Only worth it for fans of the series but it’s good fun. Once again, no split-screen, although would have proven to be difficult to implement.
Conflict: Denied Ops: This is the ‘avoid at all costs’ title that you only try in extreme times of desperation. It is however on the better end of the spectrum of some of the bad co-op games.

Bad publicity is still publicity
Keith Vaz, Kevin McCullough, Jack Thompson, The Daily Mail; despite being ill informed imbeciles the gaming industry owes these guys (and many more) a great big hug for the way they’ve selflessly promoted the market. “Xbox 360 gains sentience and cripples decorated war hero”, “Sonic the Hedgehog promotes bestiality” and “Gary Glitter: I was normal before I got a Wii” are all (in some universes) genuine headlines that have attempted to degrade the reputation of games as a viable platform for artistic expression. Of course the only thing these lobbyists have all succeeded in is doing the exact opposite, with the games in question receiving a popularity boost in a similar manner to the way that Vernon Kay is now regarded as being actually newsworthy.

Rockstar Games have undoubtedly benefited the most from these unintentional plugs, and it’s fair to say that they know exactly which mass media buttons to press. The GTA series can certainly walk tall based solely on its technical merits, but that can’t be said for the Manhunt series which I imagine would have fallen under the radar completely if not for the hysterical reaction to its gruesome content. Manhunt’s appeal was that it was breaking the boundaries of acceptable levels of violence in such a way that gamers across the globe were buying the game out of  sheer curiosity rather than based on the game itself. That’s not to say that its necessary to go looking for trouble however, since the global media will regularly manage to  find something to have a good old fashioned “It wasn’t this way in my day” campaign, regardless of minor details like factual accuracy.

Not so interesting now is it?!

While Mass Effect was already doing pretty well for itself with rave reviews from all sides, it received a welcome publicity shot in the arm through the frankly hilarious over-reaction from Fox News and Kevin McCullogh which was utterly convinced that Bioware’s space epic was in fact an unrelenting interspecies gangbang with an error ridden article with concluded with a sentence that will (and deservedly should) stick with him for the rest of his days:

“With it’s “over the net” capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away.”

This showed that he not only completely misunderstands the nature of technology at large but a distinct lack of evidence that he had ever actually played the game. Even though the realisation that he had based an entire opinionated article on a completely fictional concept forced a prompt public apology, the media furore had already ahcieved the desired effect from Bioware’s perspective. Though thousands of extraterrestrial nipple hunting teens would have been disappointed at the sight of a mere blue side-boob I have no doubt that Mass Effect would have shipped a considerable number of copies based solely on the promise of being able to… well maybe you should take this one, Kev:

“hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of…”

Indeed.

There are occasions where bad publicity can have a plain and simple damaging effect on your game however, which Electronics Arts found out using a marketing ploy that only they would have the balls to even briefly entertain, never mind pick up and run with. Considering the biblical nature of Dante’s Inferno (as well as including an achievement for killing non-baptised babies, how the hell did that make it in!?) you would expect religious protestors to descend upon the game’s development studio with great haste. Well not quickly enough according to EA, as it came to light that a group of protestors kicking up a fuzz at E3 about the game’s religious context were in fact hired actors, with EA themselves picking up the bill. With a false website and reading material to back up this “unique” viral marketing campaign, EA must have thought that they had covered all of the bases. Until the next day that is when the entire thing was unveiled as a farce, and we all went back to vocally regarding EA as a shower of unscrupulous suits who live in volcano lairs and set our hard earned cash on fire to light their gargantuan cigars. Bastards.

Get yourself meme’d
The internet is a phenomenally power marketing tool and it’s very rare to jump into any gaming website without your screen being filled with the latest God of War 3 or Wii Fit propaganda, which is more often than not implemented with the subtlety of an Activision rep throwing a Call of Duty branded brick at your head. It’s not just the shady contracts between publishers and reviewing sites that gets people talking though, with a game that is worthy of being subjected to the meme treatment essentially doing all of the work itself, for better or worse.

If you can include any kind of glitch, hammy acting or moment of awkwardness in your pre-release footage you can bet that it will have been recreated, re-imagined and redistributed within hours of it entering the public domain. The E3 presentation of Genji 2 for the PS3 reached hilarious levels of stupidity and as a result the phrase “Giant Enemy Crab” is jokingly referenced across the industry, from Viva Piñata to World of Warcraft. While the producer of the game excitedly revealed that the game would be full of genuine historical battles from ancient Japan, footage of the infamous Giant Enemy Crab filled the screen behind him, leading to a few confused attendees frantically checking their history books, while the rest of them simply soiled themselves laughing. The situation was compounded as innovative new features such “real time weapon changes” were unleashed on the unsuspecting audience. Despite the obviously embarrassing consequences, the farcical press conference put Genji on the map in an unprecedented fashion, although I don’t think many publishers would go employ that particular marketing plan too readily.

Be a tease
Sometimes when it comes to building up the interest in a game, less is more. A well placed teaser trailer for your upcoming game can get the masses salivating at the mouth before you’ve even written a single line of code, particularly if you’ve already established your brand. Take the Mass Effect Teaser trailer as an example. It consists of two core elements, the first of which is a brief recollection of the many glorious achievements you as Shepard had heroically performed in the first game, followed by the useful tidbit of information that he’s dead…

I’m sorry what? Commander Shepard, who I spent slightly north of fifty hours levelling up has died within a few months of me turning my back? Why is that Geth wearing his armour?! I have too many questions, someone take my money so I can find answers! PLEASE!! Ok, that reaction was certainly on the more vocal end of the spectrum but it got people talking in a way that never really died down until Mass Effect 2 hit the shelves, with hype hitting fanatical levels as each character in Shepard’s suicidal space opera was gradually drip fed to us.

Where do I pick up my cheque?

Not that drip feeding information has a detrimental effect on the hype surrounding a game, with many publishers rightly making the decision to release as many trailers that tell us absolutely nothing for as long as they can. In the same way that gory scenes in horror movies are most effective when left to our imagination, the number of people attempting to hopelessly dissect a game trailer increases as the level of tangible information that the trailer provides begins to drop. The recent trailer for the next title in the Ghost Recon series, Future Soldier, encapsulates this pretty well with the fifty second video telling us that it’s set in the future and some people will be invisible. Do we know who we’re fighting? Where this conflict takes place? Why the US Military have gone all Predator on us all of a sudden? Hell no! Does that stop the gaming community shouting their support or distain at the tiny morsel of information they’ve just been fed? Of course it doesn’t!

There’s no doubt that I’m only scratching the surface and some of the larger franchises have probably already implemented new advertising techniques that us simple gamers would never even consider. Where does the pre-release hype machine go from here though? Subliminal messaging perhaps? For all we know, every minute that we play the latest FIFA or Call of Duty could result in thousands of unnoticeable commands being hardwired into our minds.

Fortunately my mind is protected from any such ~ BUY ARMY OF TWO ~ attacks and as a result I’m impervious ~ FOOTBALL MANAGER IS YOUR FRIEND, GO TO IT ~ to any such suggestions…

Although they have loved every minute of helping to create great games like Burnout, Geometry Wars Galaxies, Sega Superstars Tennis, MotoGP and Black, the time has come for them to forge their own path. They must unleash the unexpressed charm and creativity hitherto stopping them from sleeping at night.

Hello Games say their desire is to “make games that will put a stoopid grin on your face”. Their first title Joe Danger will make most gamers who are beginning to tire of yet another Gears of War or COD sequel sit up and take notice.

Their debut game, Joe Danger, is aimed at digital download and is due out on PC, PlayStation Network and Xbox Live Arcade in spring next year. The game appears to be inspired by the great Evel Knievel with his best days are behind him, he’s put on a little weight, the Doctors told him he would never walk again and he is left looking at faded posters of the glory days of yesteryear. This game follows his inspirational comeback and it’s going to be out of this world.

If you hadn’t guessed, you are Joe Danger. You live to thrill the crowd and break World Records. Take on your friends or race against your rivals, the reckless “Team Nasty”. You laugh in the face of danger, and it laughs back, as you bounce from boulder to boulder, on fire, towards that pile of mousetraps. Freeze the game at any point and edit your level however you want it. Once you are finished, share the joy.

“Joe Danger aims to recreate the childish joy of the first time you took a toy motorbike, doused it in lighter fluid, lit it, and launched it at high speed over your carefully constructed ramp out a second story window” said Sean Murray, the team’s lead developer. “You are Joe Danger, the world’s most determined motorbike stuntman. You live to thrill the crowd and break World Records. A call back to retro classics like Excitebike, this 3D side-scrolling stunt-em-up is a burst of sugar-rush fun for today’s jaded gamers.”

Joe Danger bring the fun back to gaming

Featuring impressive cartoon-quality graphics, cartoon physics with comic timing, a custom built engine and a brilliant; slapstick sense of humour, Joe Danger gives arcade classics a nitro boost up the exhaust pipe, and puts the Evil in Evel Knievel. Sure, it’s dangerous business being a stuntman, but as world-class daredevil Lance Murdoch once said “Bones heal, chicks dig scars, and the United States has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world.”

When I say that the game is essentially a 2D stunt racer/platformer you could be forgiven for immediately thinking “so it’s another Trials HD, right?” but that would be doing Joe Danger an injustice as it’s a very different kind of game. The controls are much more forgiving and the focus seems to be much more on fun. For example if you get one of the letters that ultimately spell out the word D-A-N-G-E-R and you’ll trigger a sample from a popular eighties power ballad.

Word on the street is that they have already created over 150 levels, although they expect to get that down to around a more realistic 50 for the finished game. We were lucky enough to play a little of the game at last year’s Eurogamer Expo, I have to say its very refreshing to see developers leaving the corporate developers with the dream of simply making fun games.

Check back tomorrow for our exclusive interview with the boys themselves!

Over the last twelve months there have been a few welcome improvements such as Avatar support, an entirely new name, and new pricing structures, so I was very interested to read Major Nelson’s Top 20 XBL Indie games for 2009. Thanks to the official XNA forums, many of the developers also went on to list the sales data for their games over the year, and GamerBytes were able to work out the bigger picture. This lead to headlines such as “Xbox Live Indie games earn six figures” which is fantastic, but under closer inspection it’s not as black and white as the headlines would have us believe.

It was of no surprise to see my personal favourite ‘I Made a Game with Zomb1es’ from James Silva which more than deserved to be the best-selling game of last year, after being downloaded over 160,000 times. After Microsoft take their cut of 30% it still leaves $112,000 (£69,366) for a game that sold for around 68 pence and lets face it the song alone was worth the cost of the download.

RC-AirSim was the second biggest seller with 74,000 paid downloads, making an impressive $129,000 (£79,880). All this looks very impressive and incredibly promising until you look outside of the top twenty sellers list where profits on games range between $17,500 (£10,835) and $500 (£310).

Considering there are now over 700 indie games on the market place, this would suggest that one game in every thirty eight would make more than ten thousand pounds and the rest closer to the lower £310 ball bark which is somewhat short of the headline grabbing six figure profits recently announced.

There are probably many developers who use the indie scene as a virtual CV where companies can see their previous work and maybe even a few hobbyists, but people looking to get rich quick would be more than a little foolish to throw their life savings into an area yet to flourish, despite so much potential.

Microsoft now desperately needs to market this area differently and seize upon this fantastic opportunity which could encourage more developers to setup on Xbox Live Indie Games. Doing so will increase the quality of these games. Many of our friends across Europe in places such as Belgium are also becoming frustrated at being left out of the indie games party as it only currently available in United States, Canada, United Kingdom, France, Spain, Italy, Singapore, Australia, and New Zealand, which falls somewhat short of the 26 countries that enjoy Xbox live.

I am probably in the minority of people who enjoy wading through truly woeful games in hope of discovering something special, so they really need to be a little more careful what they allow on the service as there are far too many cheap, crass games and applications that would struggle on the iPhone apps page on iTunes, so we certainly don’t need them on our Xbox. Many gamers have reported that the XBLIG section feels a little like a cess pit of gaming that they stumble across, which is probably down to the increasing amount of so called ‘sexy games’ like the dreadful Who Did I Date Last Night? Which promises lots of rude fun but is actually a ‘Guess Who?’ like game with pictures of attractive women. The novelty wears off after around 35 seconds, and this kind of trash needs to remain on Facebook not our game consoles.

Digital distribution has the potential to unleash a new generation of bedroom programmers like that of yesteryear and give them a platform to shine with games that value gameplay over graphics; there is proof of this on the XBLIG market place already but you have to search hard for it.  My hope is that 2010 will see indie games flourish, and I urge you all to give them a try.

Have you uncovered an indie hidden gem? Let us know your favourite finds!

The idea is that users will create their very own virtual arcade and invite their friends over to play, meet, chat and maybe even compare bragging rights. Upon launch we are told to expect thirty old-school games, and the added bonus of all the titles enjoying voice chat and online leaderboards which will link both Xbox 360 and PC users.

Microsoft said:“The new Game Room on Xbox Live, will be the place to relive the glory days of arcade games, with over 1000 games being released throughout the next three years”. Upon seeing early footage it does look good and there is something quite cool about you and your friend’s avatars wandering around the arcade you have just built but is there a catch?

The price for your virtual enjoyment has recently been announced and I must admit to feeling more than a little disappointed. Playing a game will cost forty Microsoft points (MSP); that’s thirty-eight pence in real money, but it is more expensive to own an arcade because, although the space itself is free, each game cabinet costs two hundred and forty MSP (£2) or four hundred MSP (£3.40) if you want it on both PC and Xbox 360.

I don’t mind paying for gimmicky virtual fun that I can enjoy with my mates but my first impressions from the press releases is that it’s a little on the expensive side for old arcade games. If I were to walk into an actual arcade in the real world, would I really pay to play games such as Asteroids? Probably not.

Can you lend me 38p mate, so I can play Centipede?

On paper it almost sounds like a strange hybrid of Second Life and Playstation Home, but what I struggle to understand is that people spend over $1.5 billion on virtual items every year; on pets, themes, avatar clothing, and now arcades; all items that don’t actually exist. In fact, these virtual objects are nothing more than a series of digital ones and zeros stored on a remote database somewhere.

Do not ever underestimate the power of the media. Imagine sitting in a room with a bank manager ten years ago, saying your business model was selling and marketing goods that don’t actually exist. No matter what your opinions are on the subject you have to admit that it has turned out to be an incredibly workable business model.

Who am I though to lecture you all? I’m just as guilty as I am ashamed to admit that I paid a few quid for a few ready designed and maxed out cars on Forza 2 a few years ago on Ebay. I must also question the logic of choosing prestige mode on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2; after all what do you get for losing all of your guns, kill streaks and classes by starting the multi player component all over again? Yep, that’s right, a different medal next to your name. If you were to seriously think about it, it’s madness to trade in hours of gameplay for a medal but guess what? I still did it.

There seems to be a market for Avatar based games if the Xbox Live Arcade and Indie games charts are anything to go by and the official trailer does make it look quite exciting.

Many of you will look at this and instantly think of Playstation Home, where you can play the games for free so it’s disappointing to see Microsoft expecting gold subscribers to pay for old games that are not selling on Xbox Live Arcade especially when Aaron Greenberg, a senior manager with Microsoft’s Xbox 360 games console division, said that Home, a Second Life-like virtual universe available on Sony’s rival PlayStation 3 console, doesn’t broaden users online experience.

It’s hard to imagine anyone seriously wanting to pay four pounds for the privilege of playing Centipede in a virtual arcade after spending forty on an Xbox Live Gold subscription. Maybe I am being a little harsh here, as only a limited amount of details have been revealed at the moment but despite my gripes with the project, I will no doubt be seen building my own virtual arcade this spring along with everyone else.

What are your thoughts? Will you be building your own Arcade? What games will be in it?

The premise of the game, in which you play an eponymous best-selling suspense author suffering from writer’s block, who escapes to a small town only to experience the mysterious disappearance of his fiancée. Sounds quite intriguing doesn’t it? However the project has been delayed so often that I take their Spring 2010 release date with a pinch of salt.

Billed as an intense psychological thriller with a realistic, interactive environment, and set in the town of Bright Falls, the hyper-detailed environments of the Pacific Northwest play an important role; even the change in daylight and weather will profoundly affect the characters and enemies. The game’s advanced rendering engine provides amazingly realistic environments that bring this world to detailed life; from the lush forest of evergreen trees to the quaint small-town buildings and streets. The world of Alan Wake is said to feel alive and real.

The mission-based structure of the game creates an episodic narrative similar to a deeply structured dramatic television series, such as Twin Peaks and X-Files. As the episodes progress, gameplay will evolve to introduce new elements and characters, escalating the level of threat and action in the game.

It has also been described as “the TV show Lost, as written by Stephen King, and filmed by David Lynch,” which sounds pretty bloody exciting to me, but then all of this was ruined by the words “story-driven like a TV series, Alan Wake will be told in episodes with even more episodes available on Xbox Live after its launch this year.”

The main concern for me, is that it’s beginning to sound like I may well only be getting half a game for my money, and the fact it could be technically be a never ending story means a canny way of inflating the price of the game over a period of time very subtly. If that indeed is the plan, it will backfire as gamers are more switched on than that!

Can you imagine getting to the end of a game only to be greeted with “To be continued… for only 1200 MS points”?

To be continued...

Andy recently expressed his concern with DLC hard selling becoming common place in the games industry when playing Bioware’s Dragon Age: Origins, when he was prevented from playing a quest when meeting a character unless he purchased the required DLC, and I fear this latest announcement could prove that this will be a trend that will increase. I love the TV show Lost but I wouldn’t want to pay £8 per episode!

For a game that has been in production for nearly five years and still has no actual content, it seems a little crazy (not to mention downright risky) to announce it will be released with Digital Live Content episodes. The other concern is games that have been constantly delayed usually end up being really poor, but on this occasion I truly hope this is not the case.

Given the incredibly long development period the game will need to be hugely successful to turn a significant profit, so the DLC option makes sense as a long-term business plan; I just hope it’s not at the expense of the core game’s quality. Maybe I am overreacting, and the DLC will be handled in a positive way like Rock Star has managed with the GTA series.

Alan Wake Spring 2010... Maybe

Personally I want to play the game as a whole, not piecemeal, but if the DLC is unique, interesting and has been crafted as a labour of love after the game’s success, then I will be happy. I will be less so if the DLC episodes are simply offcuts from the main game that were removed because of tightening deadlines or as part of a cynical exercise in profiteering.

Generally speaking, Gamers will gladly play for extra maps and content in multiplayer games, but seem a little reluctant to pay for single player DLC, so this is another factor that could cause the Developers of Alan Wake a few problems by announcing content before the game is released already to savvy gamers.

Believe it or not, despite the warning signs, I have followed the production of this game for five years and I’m still genuinely excited about Alan Wake and hope it offers something new and exciting and lives up to its vibe of being the Donnie Darko of the gaming world the previews have evoked. The bigger question is: what does everyone else think?

My Gaming Hell
I bought an Xbox 360 in May 2008. I was overjoyed. HD gaming. Xbox LIVE. Gears of War. Sunshine beamed in my chest every time I saw that little spinning globe and heard the ‘woomp’ sound as the black box whirred into life. For a time, it was good; the problems started when I went on holiday. In July 2009, after a lengthy Halo 3 session, I jetted off to sunny Amsterdam for a week. Upon my return, withdrawal symptoms setting in, I hastily jabbed the power button and snatched up my controller with glee. Only, wait, what’s this? No picture? No sound? NO XBOX?!?!? To my utter bewilderment, somehow over the course of my away time, my Elite had decided to stop showing me pictures and playing me sound.

Distraught, I rang the Microsoft Xbox 360 Support Hotline like a good little consumer. To my dismay, after battling through a swathe of automated menus, voiced by some Z-list American actress/robot, I got talking to the quietest man in the world. Straining to hear him, I put my handset on SPEAKER and put it back to my ear and still he was like a whisper at the other end of a football pitch. Barely managing to follow his overly complex instructions, I tried some messing about with RT and Y and failed. His last words were “Send it to Microsoft for repair” and he hung up. Unfortunately for me, being a UK consumer, I only got a 1 year warranty on my console and, now living in the dangerous ‘no warranty’ zone, had no choice but to seek alternative means of repair.

I set to work Googling my arse off and found a friendly, local Xbox 360 repair ‘specialist’ to aid me. Although I’d love to smear this company’s name across TIMJ (for reasons you’ll discover later), they will remain nameless for legal reasons and that. Anyway, I ventured across to the next county and handed over my black box of joy. No more than a week later it was back in my hands, and for a poultry sum I had regained my addiction. And for a time it was good.

Thence began my saga of pain and exasperation. In November 2009, during a mammoth Oblivion run, I came careening headfirst through the windscreen of the Xbox world; I got the Red Ring of Death. Jaw hanging somewhere by my knees and my heart lingering in my stomach, I frantically turned the console on and off and on and off in disbelief. Soon feelings of loss and desperation gave way to resolve and logical thinking. I dialed my friends at the repair shop and they accepted my challenge. It was here I made my first mistake; I posted them my Xbox. After picking it up on the wrong day, the post people (also remaining nameless) took two weeks to deliver it to the repair shop, who then took another week to fix it. Then, another week to send it back.

So after a month or so and considerably more cash, my pride and joy returned to me. For about forty five minutes. After a minuscule browse on the marketplace, a quick crack on a few demos and a two hour rest, my Xbox 360 died. AGAIN. I had paid a decent chunk of my dwindling coffer and waited a whole month for forty five MEASLY MINUTES OF GAMEPLAY?!  This was not on, and I was furious. I felt like crying and exploding at the same time. I felt like doing a Barry Pepper in Twenty Fifth Hour, the scene where he bashes Ed Norton’s head in so he won’t get done over in jail. I love my Xbox 360, but that day I was ready to smash it into shiny, plastic pieces. Twice. Logical thinking again got in the way, and I instead returned it to the shop (in person this time) who fixed it for free in accordance with their warranty policy, only for it to work for only about 3 times as long as before. The same Xbox with the same problem, fixed TWICE and STILL BROKEN. Those feelings of despair were only inches away, creeping in like those dodgy shadows in Ghost. I was well and truly defeated by the system.

Would you believe it, the old girls back again! Saved by the oldest trick in the book, the one you’ve all heard of but most have never tried. You might think it’s fake or crude or just plain stupid, but there’s a reason it’s so well known. The one all the experts say will wreck your Xbox forever, if that’s even possible at this stage. You got it; The Towel Trick. Twenty five minutes wrapped in mum’s fluffy towels and my Elite is running like she was never broke. It’s only guaranteed for a few days mind, but at least it’ll last longer than the expensive ‘expert fixes’ I’ve had to endure.

It looks stupid but it saved my arse...

The Machine That Microsoft Threw Together
So now you know. Hopefully you can now see my unbridled rage at the system, and the so called world of support. So let’s take a look at the best and worst console ever created by man. For those new to the world of gaming, a quick history lesson; the Xbox 360 was launched in 2005 to rave reviews, but also its fair share of criticism. Most naysayers cited the consoles’ chronic overheating and noisy ventilation as the key issues. Most people told them where to shove it and bought one anyway. They were stylish, quick and fun to use. The games were brilliant and varied, and the 360 was seen as the hip and cool alternative to Sony’s serious noir beast, the PS3, and it still is. Despite the issues, the Xbox 360 shifted 1.5 million units before the year was out. Only after the initial buzz of excitement did said issues begin to cast a shadow over Microsoft’s box of fun. Huge numbers of owners reported overheating and the aptly named Red Ring of Death, an indication of a critical systems failure. Thankfully, Microsoft had a friendly warranty, lasting three years in the US and one in the UK and Europe, which many of the troubled consumers took full advantage of. So far, so good. Why then were the consoles breaking so early into their projected lifespan, and what could Microsoft do about it? The answers were simple; bad design and nothing, respectively.

When developing the Xbox 360, Microsoft boffins came across two huge problems; the Graphics Processing Units (GPUs) were overheating to the point of meltdown and there was no room for the disc drive. Unable to come up with a fix for both, they instead made an astounding decision; dupe the world and cripple the Xbox 360’s lifespan. In order to fit the DVD drive in, they reduced the size of the heat-sinks – little pads that suck the heat out of the GPUs – to half their original size. So by solving one problem they worsened another exponentially. Epic fail Microsoft boffins. Despite this, the console shipped on a whistle and a prayer and sold shedloads. But the fact still stands; they conned us. We thought we were buying a lovingly crafted, painstaking R+D wonder when in fact we were being tossed a thrown together, faulty piece of shit. A compromise. A beta model. Worse still, regardless of how many upgrades and new processors they’ve installed and how much money they’ve throw at it, Microsoft still have a sub-standard console on the shelves. Not exactly top form for the world’s number one home computer manufacturer; which brings my nicely to my next target; the support system.

Supporting Themselves
Support lines are there so that, in the unlikely event a problem arises, consumers can call the experts for help. Most of the time, they work fine. The prime example of this, the shining white knight of customer service, is Microsoft. PC broken? Windows throwing up random error bollocks again? Have no fear, Microsoft Support is here! Swooping in like some crooked superhero, the man on the end of the phone chirpily takes you through, step by step, clear as crystal how to fix your sick PC and gets you tapping away on Excel or slaying stuff on Diablo again in no time. If you own a PC, Microsoft’s customer support is second to none. Too bad for us Xbox 360 owners then eh?

It seems the computing giant has given about as much development time to the Xbox 360 Support service as it took me to write this (about an hour then.) Shoddily constructed, confusing to navigate, automated, button-mashing menus give way to weak, cheap phone lines connected to dodgy call centers somewhere half way across the world. The guys on the end of the line simply read a script, with the last line telling you to send the console to Microsoft and then hang up. The polar opposite to their outstanding PC support, it’s galling that Microsoft have let it get this bad.
Customers with console problems, and as we’ve seen there are plenty of them, are left feeling unappreciated and alone. A little galling, considering an Xbox 360 Elite will set you back around £170 and after a few wily game purchases your new bundle of joy will cost you well over 250 smackers. This is not including the wireless adapter (necessary for wireless connection to Xbox LIVE), extra controllers, yearly subscription to Xbox LIVE, Microsoft Points to buy XBLArcade games and downloadable content… the list is endless. Considering Microsoft has raked in millions from 360 sales, the way they treat their loyal customers is a disgrace. But we put up and shut up, because there’s no other way. Most of us know exactly nil about how a console works, how to fix it without breaking it, or the complexities of electronics; I know I don’t. So what are we to do when the white knight rides off into the sunset, leaving us muddy and wet in a ditch? Well, we turn to the cowboys for help of course…

High Ho Pocket Lining!
So we reach the Alamo. The final option for broken 360 owners; the independent fixer. Commonly referred to by TV morons as ‘cowboys’, these cheery fellows will take away your woes with a flick of their magic screwdrivers and blast those blues away with their heat guns. For a price.

Unfortunately, cowboys don't look like this anymore...

Now don’t misunderstand me; there are hundreds, possibly thousands of good, skilled, honest tradesmen who will fix you Xbox for good and for a reasonable price. They’re probably very nice people too, and I mean in no way to put you off going to them for help. As disenfranchised, downtrodden consumers for whom the support system means nothing, these bastions of independent trade and spirit are our only hope. No, the people I’m referring to here are the ones that perform quick fixes and patch jobs on your precious boxes in order to rake in your cash and leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth, hiding behind warranties and smiles.

I don’t want to get too ‘Rogue Traders’ here, but I feel it is my duty as an observant and well-placed victim of these jokers to at least attempt to help you spot the wolves in sheep’s clothing so to speak. Firstly, if your Xbox 360 is under warranty, for God’s sake send it back to Microsoft. I know I’ve just spent half this article shredding their support system like dodgy tax returns but they’ll fix it for free and in light of the fact they built the thing, they might just get it right. Failing that, make sure you find a good dealer. Check the website, if it looks nice, chances are they’re ok. I’m not saying if the site is flash then part with your cash, but cheap websites are a good indication of sub-standard service. These days throwing a nice website together is easy; I have little web knowledge and can’t program HTML to save my life and I managed to make my blog look pretty nice in a matter of minutes. If they haven’t even bothered to do that, chances are they won’t bother to fix your Xbox properly. A good business will want to have a good presentation, so watch out for that. Also, don’t rule out PC repair shops. A desktop or laptop computer is infinitely more difficult to repair correctly than an Xbox 360, so if they can fix PCs the console will be a simple job they are unlikely to botch. From what I’ve heard, anyone with a 45 minute lesson and a how-to guide in front of them can patch up a 360, so getting someone who knows computers and electronics is a must.

Finally, make sure they’re local. I made the fatal mistake of using a place an hour’s drive from my house, and it was a nightmare getting my console back to the shop for re-fixes and the like. If they’re local you can return any unfixed things quickly and easily, and get them sorted. Hell, you can even give it a go yourself if you’re feeling lucky. There’s plenty of cheap guides floating around the net that could save you lots of money in repairs… or brick your console. All of this is, of course, my opinion and mostly basic advice, so follow or ignore at your whim.

I Hope You Have Better Luck Than Me
Well after all that I suppose you’ll be feeling depressed, paranoid and little sick; but don’t throw out you Xbox 360 yet! Many people have had working consoles for years with no problems; a friend of mine has a first generation Xbox 360 and it’s never had any issues. Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones. Maybe you’ll be unlucky like me. Whatever happens, remember you’re not alone, and the Xbox 360 is still a fantastic console. The game are still great, Xbox LIVE still rules the Internet gaming roost and you’ve got that ‘woomp’ at start-up to make you smile. Just don’t get too cosy, because at any moment it could blow up in your face! Just kidding, I’m sure you’ll be fine… no, really…

Watch out for Achievement/Trophy Whores
The Left 4 Dead games have an expansive and varied set of achievements which go a long way to adding depth to the different game types on offer. However I have come across a few occasions where these rewards have led to conflicts (shall we say) of interest among the survivors. Organising an achievement hunt beforehand with your team is acceptable behaviour and in some cases necessary to achieve what are otherwise very tricky objectives. What is not acceptable however, is swanning off in the heat of battle to grab a garden gnome (The ‘Guardin’ Gnome’ achievement) to take to the safehouse, or hacking away at a Tank with a cricket bat while it massacres your squad (‘Tank Burger’ achievement). There’s a time and a place for it, and I’ve already watched teammates die* after breaking away from the pack to follow some completionist ulterior motive.

*Or refused to save them because of their foolishness, but let’s not get into semantics.

Never play as the Boomer
I would love to know what I’m missing here and if anyone else can enlighten me please do, but as far as I can see the Boomer is utter horses**t. In Versus mode, most Special Infected have at least one game changing move; a well placed acid patch from a Spitter, a formation breaking grab from a Smoker as well as the unblockable attacks of the Charger, Jockey and Hunter. The Boomer vomits on people. Fair enough, the bile it expels attracts a horde onto the unfortunate recipient but there is no effective way that the Boomer can directly attack the survivors. To make matters worse, it’s loud, slow and so bloated that a single shot from a pistol will result in it exploding in a puff of green and red ugliness. I appreciate that the Boomer is intended to act as a support character in the Infected ranks, but consider that the support guy on the Survivors’ side is probably the fella with the sniper rifle. I know which side I’d rather be on in that scenario.

We may be useless on our own, but now... we are four times as useless

Let the heroes be punished
There’s always one. You can progress through an entire campaign without a scratch thanks to some tight teamwork, but there will always be one point where one of the team members decides to be a hero at the worst possible time. Under normal circumstances when a fellow survivor is incapacitated of course you should do your utmost to get them back to their feet. When Coach decides to take on a Witch with a frying pan on the other hand, it might be a better idea to leave him to his thoroughly deserved fate. There is no place for heroes in a zombie apocalypse, so bear this in mind when you’re deciding how to use that last health pack.

Save yourselves… and take me with you…
No matter what anyone tells you, there will never be a point where it is wrong to scream like a coward when it looks like you’re on death’s door. Especially in realism mode, where all visual cues are removed, it is an absolute must to squeal like a pansy when you’ve been incapacitated. In essence, have no shame; when push comes to shove, acting like a little girl will more than likely save your life, and the embarrassment only lasts until it happens to the next guy.

The Right Bumper is your friend
I imagine you’re already aware of this, but the AI director can be a right bastard at times. Just when you think you’re getting a situation under control and the entire team is concentrating their fire on a single point, the director will pretty much without fail spawn a new horde of infected giving you the headache of fighting on two fronts. “Surely that doesn’t happen all the time?” I hear you ask? Why else would Valve have mapped a button to the singular purpose of shifting your view 180 degrees? This isn’t a mere conspiracy theory, it’s scientific factoid fellow Survivors. As a general rule of thumb, there is usually a moment when you’ll get the upper hand and start thinking about your next move after dispatching the current horde of Infected. This is the moment to turn around, as it’s at this point that the AI director’s sadistic tendencies come to the fore, and a rather upset Tank spawns behind your plucky group.

The aforementioned hero, about to get massacred no doubt

Wait ’til it hits the fan
It’s not just the Survivors that need to work as a team in order to succeed, going it alone as one of the Special Infected will more often than not result in a quick death and a painfully long respawn time. I realised this after my first Versus match after mounting Ellis while playing as the Jockey. My initial euphoria was replaced by a feeling of impending doom as I noticed the other heavily armed survivors had their guns trained on me and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop them making me their bitch. Most of the Infected have very useful attacks that essentially take a survivor out the equation, but they’re at their most effective when used in conjunction with a massive horde and the rest of your team. Imagine the panic that would spread throughout the team as a Smoker, Charger and Hunter all attacked the team at the same time, all but rendering them helpless and unable to rescue each other. It’s what I like to call the Zombie Clusterf**k, and it should be the first move in your playbook.

Note that this doesn’t really apply if you’re lucky enough to be the Tank, where you’re actively encouraged to go on a bloodthirsty rampage. Or the Boomer for that matter, where you might as well just run into the nearest pointy thing.

Give each other a heads up
Communication is key to survival in a zombie apocalypse, and for the most part gamers are able to keep other each informed of the most immediate threats to the team. “There’s a Witch over there”, “I’m being molested by a Hunter” and “Oh bollocks I’m the Boomer” are common announcements in my experience, but it’s also important to keep the team informed about some of your own impending actions. A little notification that you’re about to go on a melee spree will reduce the chances of you getting popped in the back of the head by a stray bullet. An it’s an absolute must to let the other Survivors know when you’re about to unleash a Molotov or Bile Bomb into the crowd, unless you enjoy setting your teammates on fire and attracting the population of the city onto them.

Don’t give in to temptation
It may just be that I’m playing with the wrong group of guys (There’s no maybe about it really, one of the Survivors in my team really did belt a Witch over the head with a frying pan), but I find that’s it best to err on the side of caution when it comes to weapon choices. By that I mean, leave the grenade launcher alone. The splash damage will certainly provide an impressive boost to your zombie killing stats, but it will deal a considerable bit of nastiness to your teammates, as well as blowing up any nearby explosives. It may keep the Infected at bay, but one misplaced shot (and you will misplace one) will more often than not result in a very unpleasant and destructive chain reaction. These kind of occasions are the reason that the Vote to Kick function exists, and I’ve seen many careless Survivors come close to feeling its icy touch.

Hopefully this entirely serious guide will help you in your future endeavours in the Apocalypse, regardless of which side you’re on, but it’s by no means complete. What advice can you pass on to novice zombie killers like myself? Let us know!

I’m talking about the PSP’s new Digital Comic reader released in the latest firmware update in December, and as a massive Spider-man fanboy I was delighted to hear that Sony had teamed up with the likes of Marvel, 2000AD, Titan and Disney to bring the growing trend of digital comics to the Playstation Portable. The service works brilliantly, with unexpectedly reasonable pricing too, but I’m not here to tell you about how it works, you can try it for free should you own a PSP. I’m here to detail what I’d like to see in the future evolution of the service.

While I’ve already mentioned the reasonable pricing per comic, I think an alternative subscription based system would be a much better model, and would see far more use of an already excellent service. There are arguments against of course. Would publishers be willing to adopt a subscription service? It would depend on the publisher, but for example, Marvel already offers a subscription service for their fans so would it be unrealistic to expect them to extend that to other digital distribution services? It would be much harder for the service providers to keep good relationships between many different publishers; however would it really be that different to what Spotify offer to music fans? The use of pre-paid cards for PSN potentially throws a spanner in the works, however it could be possible to say that £10 buys you 30 days of unlimited access, even if it was simply for one particular series or publishers output.

The menu, displaying some of the comics that Marvel already offer on their own subscription service.

In lieu of a subscription model, bundles of particular story arcs for a cheaper overall price would be a good substitute and would be extremely beneficial to some of the smaller and more unknown titles amongst the current line-up. The service offered up a number of free first editions (I recommend checking out ‘Cages’ and ‘Cancertown’), and while I enjoyed some of these a great deal, I’m always going to opt for something of proven consistent quality over an unknown, no matter how much promise it shows early on (Heroes, anyone?). A free taster and then a bundle could prove to be the smartest way to market things. Bundling story arcs on the big comics like Spider-man are especially important, as some of the bigger stories go across the various Spidey books available.

In addition to this, it would seem the perfect system to deliver full graphic novels. Imagine classics such as Watchmen, V for Vendetta or The Killing Joke appearing on there? Of course those particular titles all depend on other publishers jumping on board, which is my next point. We need Batman, Spawn, The Darkness etc, all making an appearance, which I’m sure the providers are already in talks about. Something as simple getting DC or Dark Horse on board can make all the difference to the credibility of the service, and especially to my expenditure.

Finding what you want can be a little tricky.

Lastly, the organisation of the comics on the PSN store in particular is something that could use attention. While it’s early days the current system works fine with a small number of comics on there, but it still can be a little confusing to browse, especially in the case of the bigger name brands on there. Perhaps a system to purchase comics through the comic reader could help cut through some of the treacle, and means it won’t be restricted to the PSN store layout, which in fairness works fine for games, but not so much with publications.

Still, like I said before; it’s very early days with the Digital Comics service, and I’m sure those working on the service have much of the above already in mind. It’s already looking like it could be one of the best non-gaming features that Sony’s portable system has to offer, but I can’t help but feel that 2010 is vital to how successful the service might prove to be. I look forward to seeing exactly how it progresses and what titles they can add to their stable over the next year or so.