Aside from various footage, the video includes two interviews with members of Team 17 and Ubisoft respectively.

Yeah, I know it’s quite a shallow reason to get a game (and disturbing – Andy), but thankfully most of those games that have really horrific ways to kill your enemy are good, except that Soldier of Fortune: Payback game, which we don’t like to mention.

Now you’re probably asking yourself “what the hell has this got to do with God of War”? Well, it’s quite simple! While watching someone else play I saw him grab an enemy and then slowly twist his head till each tendon broke, the bones crumbled, the muscles tear and finally the head ripped from the body… in full HD! I knew straight away that I wanted to give this game a go.

God of War is a series I have never played; I haven’t really had any interest in it before. I can honestly say I have never even thought about buying it before I played the demo at Eurogamer.

While I was waiting in the queue, a guy was trying to beat a centaur and he was finding it very difficult. After trying for around 10 minutes and failing miserably, the pad was passed along to me. Having no clue and thrown straight into it I had to think fast. Luckily I had been paying attention and I found it easy to work out the controls. The game is relatively simple; each enemy has its own weakness and if you pay attention its usually straight forward to kill them. The weaker enemies can be killed with the basic melee attacks; whereas the harder enemies have to be killed in more specific and horrific ways.

The emphasis is on destroying everything that tries to stop you. You are, after all, fighting Gods and Titans. There are certain light puzzle elements included in the game, like using the objects in the environment to progress.

After I had killed the Centaur I used a ballista missile to hit a chariot flying in the sky, which turned out to be Helios. Moving on to the next area I had to fight my way through hordes of enemies, most of which were quite easy, and use Harpies to get across big gaps. After battling my way through them I finally found Helios being protected by several guards with shields. After trying to kill them and getting nowhere I was about to give up when out of nowhere a Cyclops came into view, so I had to divert my attention towards that. After shooting it with some arrows, I initiated a grapple style move and had to press a series of buttons that came up on the screen. Before I knew it, I’d jumped on the Cyclops and stabbed a knife through its eye. It started throwing its arms around while stepping forward. Pointing it in the right direction, I steered it towards the guards, all of which he  killed; then I proceeded to rip out the Cyclops’ eyeball before turning my attention back to Helios.

Twist and shout!

This was a moment I had been waiting for; this was the moment I got to do what I had only seen when other people were playing and this was when I would tear off Helios’ head. Using a combination of buttons and the six-axis I had to wrestle  like hell to pull the damn thing off. Light was pouring out of his eyes, nose and mouth. Once decapitated, using my new-found head to light-up dark areas and to show hidden things, I pointed the head towards a wall, lighting up where a door was that I was meant to proceed through. The action then changed. It was a nice breath of fresh air when I got to a flying mini-game. Here, using Icarus’ wings, I had to fly upwards while avoiding falling debris. Once at the top, the demo ended and the only feeling I had left was that of wanting much more.

It’s easy to become addicted to being a homicidal maniac, if only for a little while. I can say that although it is a good game, the full version won’t be for everyone and will lack longevity. It remains quite linear and there isn’t much exploring to be done so the only sense of progression with be achieved through the action and storyline. For anyone wanting this game it will probably be a one-time thing with no real reason to complete it a second or third time. I mean, how long could you keep it up?! The story will only disguise the repetitive nature of the game for so long. Nevertheless, for the majority it will be worth a play and I do look forward to seeing the finished product.

Ok, if I really have to do this… Seriously though, what the hell are you doing on this site if you’ve never played a Mario game before?! In New Super Mario Bros. Wii, you have to travel from left to right over a 2D level as quick as possible, jumping on enemies, over obstacles and using power-ups to your advantage to reach the end. Oh yeah, Princess Peach has been kidnapped by Bowser again. Patronised enough yet?

As you can probably tell from the above, this is your typical platform adventure taken right back to its roots, however this time Nintendo have thrown proper multiplayer and co-op into the equation. That’s right; no longer are Mario and his slightly less popular brother forced to traverse the exact same levels one at a time; up to four players can play through the level simultaneously. My initial impression upon starting was that graphically the game seemed bright and pleasing, but there really isn’t a lot you can say about the look; it’s old fashioned but iconic, though it will certainly not win any awards for pushing the industry forward.

The game is played without any of the waggle motion controls, and is exactly as you will remember when you played the original SMB on the NES. We had chance to go over three levels (we were only allowed ten minutes), but we managed a good cross-section of what was on offer. Rather than helping each other however, which I’m sure was the idea, we had seemingly both left our professionalism at the door as we set out to maliciously hinder the other.

Team work? Pffft...

It started when Joe decided that he would try and take all the power-ups. Hitting a block with a power-up hidden therein will throw out two. Young Joseph thought it would be funny to keep taking both. That was until I uncovered Yoshi, and had taken to using the loveable dinosaur to eat him and throw him either into the bottomless caverns or into enemies. This slapstick approach at least allowed us to see how the health/life system worked. Should you die, a few seconds later you will float past in a bubble that your colleague has to pop in order to put you back into the game, until all your lives are up. If you are a complete and utter s**tbag like me, you can the pop re-spawn bubble over caverns. Just for giggles mind.

Killing your ‘frenemies’ can happen a lot by accident too, and there were lots of occurrences where we both tried to take a jump at the same time and one of us knocked the other into a pit of doom, which never seemed to get boring or irritating. Playing with just two of us was extremely hectic, so I can only imagine the carnage and banter should four people be included (the other two spots are Toad characters).

We didn’t really get much of a look at the new power ups either, so we didn’t get chance to sample the much-publicised penguin suit or the ice flower, but we did get a chance to use the propeller suit, which enabled our heroes to fly.

It’s clear that the game brings quickly brings out the ‘competitive jerk factor’ out of people and it is for this reason it’s a real shame to hear that the game will sport no online functionality. That aside, Joe and I came away from sampling this title with revised enthusiasm for what a Mario game could be. It seems that Nintendo were aiming to provide a new spin to the classic Mario formula, and based on what I’ve seen it can only be seen as mission accomplished.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii is due out on Novermber 20^th

Hang on ‘press X’? ‘Re-spawn’?!… Oh yeah, I know what I was on about… MAG on the PS3… for a second I thought I was in a war novel!

When I picked up the pad to have a play with MAG my first thought was, ‘these graphics look a bit ropey’. I have to say that after digging deeper, Zipper Interactive can be forgiven for this, as the bulk of the development has been concentrating on getting the gameplay right. When you are dealing with 256 players on the map at the same time, you have to be make sure that it’s going to work; making it look good is going to be an afterthought. Now, before all the PS3 fanboys pipe up and say I’m being prejudiced because it’s not on the Xbox: I am stating a fact, not slating the game.

When I got playing and was parachuted into the action, my initial impression of the game was laid to rest. This fast-paced MMOFPS (yes that’s what it is, seriously, I’m not making it up) may not look as good other games of its type (such as Call of Duty), but it is definitely far superior for several reasons. One thing that annoys me about these so-called realistic games is that there always seems to be a hidden barrier when it comes to the tree-lines and bushes. When approaching a tree for cover I always find it  annoying when you hit them like a brick wall; if you were in a firefight would you be stood in the open or hiding in the shrubbery?! It’s the second option, let’s face it. Thankfully Zipper have taken this into account. When you want to go hide in the trees, you can (obviously climbing a tree would be a little silly).

It's not quite Duck Hunt...

Another good thing about MAG is that your wounds don’t magically begin to heal after a short respite; instead you have to go find aid stations and get healed. Dying can be a long experience on the battlefield and bleeding to death due to the massive bullet hole in your stomach is never a pleasant thing. It’s all ok though (it’s not real for one thing), as when you are bleeding to death you can either take the opportunity to pray to whichever deity you choose or do what I did and bleed out and get back into the action.

When you re-spawn you get the opportunity to decide how you want to deploy (by air or land) and you also get the chance to change your weapons. You have to wait a set amount of time before re-spawning and this is because you’re always deployed in squads. This means that you always have company in a battle, making this more about cooperation than running off on your own. I have to say that playing without a headset was a little disappointing, as you really do have to keep in communication with the people on your team to effectively take on the enemy.

Overall, I have to put my hand on my heart and say that I love this game! I would buy a PS3 just to play it, and would probably spend hours of my life sat in a warzone (on my sofa). In the short time that I spent with it I can already see the appeal; I was in a war and I wasn’t fighting a computer; I was in combat against real people around the world. It’s an intense, unpredictable experience with a fantastic atmosphere. If you play it right, you’re going to have a team battle the likes of which you have never seen before. I had no expectations going in, and now I have big expectations for the full release; this will surely be a must buy for PS3 owners.

The demo kicked off with our heroic Irishman, Sean Devlin, tied to a chair and being beaten by a German soldier somewhere in Paris. As the soldier turns his back a somehow-now-free Sean brutally snaps his neck, lights up a cigar, and it’s here that control is turned over to the player. The game is presented in a gorgeous noir style; it’s portrayed in black and white with the only other predominant colour being red. Fans of movies such as Sin City will know this look well and appreciate the stark contrast it provides. This unique look (in videogame terms at least) doesn’t just create an effective atmosphere, but actually acts as a metaphor for how oppressed the world is under Nazi regime. As you help to liberate certain areas, the colour begins to return; a very clever premise I’m sure you’ll agree.

My initial preconception was still very much intact here at this point, as under the belief that I was in a contained level I started to stealthily work my way through the building eliminating unsuspecting Nazis, breaking necks and the like. Early on however, I acquired an enemy machine gun, and found that my only way through was to shoot my way out. The shooting mechanic is fluid and natural, and the cover system employed worked extremely well. It was at this point an EA rep leaned over my shoulder to ask what I thought and said that everyone else had been calling it a ‘GTA Clone’. I think my response was along the lines of a disbelieving ‘Whaaa?!’, as I looked at him as if he was on crystal meth. Suffice to say that I was about to see exactly where he was coming from.

Talk about Luck Of The Irish...

As I battled my way out of the Nazi occupied building my objective was to get to a car, and as I entered the vehicle it was here that it dawned on me; ‘this is an open world game’. My next objective was to rush across town to rescue someone that Sean apparently knew. The handling of the car isn’t what you’d call realistic, but smooth and enjoyable nonetheless. As I sped down the various roads, I became aware of a circle surrounding my position on the mini-map. Just like GTA4, when the Nazis are after you there is a radius of awareness that you must escape. Get spotted and the circle resets. Safely at my destination I was forced out of the car thanks to a roadblock. Here, soldiers with flamethrowers were torching the building that I was supposed to reach. I took them out one by one and saved a civilian from being executed, as he told me that his wife was trapped in the building. Here I was subject to the dangers of the environment as I had to navigate the burning building towards the trapped woman. After saving her, the demo ended.

So, I expected one thing, got another, but what I got was in no-way a disappointment. It’s looking a very smooth and robust experience even on this early build; however I have to say that while enjoyable and graceful in execution, it did very little that was truly remarkable. I would love to see the game incorporate more of the stealth elements that it seemed it would initially include, and only time will tell how much of that will be a factor. Either way it’s a game that surprised me in more ways that one, and I’ll be keeping a beady eye on it when it gets released this holiday season.

Annoyed that I couldn’t get on the game, me and Andy decided to wander around and play something else. Andy found his way onto Saboteur and I thought I would see if anything else was free. Lady luck was definitely on my side at this point and as I wandered past the Mass Effect booths, I noticed that no one was on the second one. Quickly I dashed in front of the booth grabbed the pad and Mass Effect 2 was mine, if only for a little while.

As I started the combat demo, I think I began to drool. The first thing I noticed was the HUD was very different from the first game. The positioning and layout is similar but noticeably different in design, but if anything it’s an improvement. I also noticed that there were no refresh rate or screen tear issues and the controls weren’t jumpy like in the first game; everything was smooth. The combat-heavy demo had been set so that you had automatically been fully levelled-up and you had some decent weapons to boot.

Snapping to cover as soon as I could, I was attacked from all angles as I slowly and tactically worked my way through the level, killing every enemy on my way. The level was well designed and the combat was an absolute joy, using every weapon in my arsenal was a must try in anyone’s books. One of the new additions to the weaponry was a grenade launcher, which made fast work of the enemies. The AI also tried to flank me on several occasions so using my machine gun I continued to kill them off one by one. There was a slight claustrophobic feel to the way that the level had been designed, being quite tight and intense thanks to the majority of the battling taking place up close. I had no choice but to change weapons every two seconds and dispatch the enemies closer to me. As I got towards the end of the level I knew my time on Mass Effect 2 was coming to an end. Hitting my destination I was presented with a beautifully rendered cut-scene using the in-game engine. After watching my target get assassinated by an unknown attacker, I was presented with the dialogue response icons and I could chose how I wanted to act. After talking to the Assassin (an alien, reptilian in nature, and very new to the series) for a few minutes; that was it. My time was over and I tearfully had to leave the booth so that another person could have a go.

Having not played the original for a while, I had totally forgotten the influence that your team-mates can have, until Andy pointed it out during his play through. By holding down the left bumper you can select what weapons your team-mates use, with the right bumper you can order them to use various powers on the enemies, such as levitate, freeze or making their weapons more powerful, but all these abilities are dependant on which classes are in your party.

Dark but deeply satisfying!

From my short play-though I automatically knew that this game is going to be massive, playing for only a few minutes had clearly set in my mind that that Bioware had been working very hard. If the final product is just as polished as the demo then the game is going to so big, being measured only on a galactic scale. One thing is clear; come release I will be losing myself into the world (yet again) of Mass Effect.

I had a lot of love for the first game despite its overbearing repetition. It had a fantastic game engine, the story was deep, cryptic and the actual gameplay was rather enjoyable. The potential was clearly there for something truly great. Even the guys from Ubisoft were brutally honest at the Expo, labelling the first game as being ‘like a footballer’s wife; great to look at, but not fun to spend time with’. So how did the sequel stand up to early questioning? A little disappointingly if I’m honest.

The first thing I should mention is that the demo on show was an extremely early (and unstable) build; the same one shown months ago at the Tokyo Game Show in fact. My go didn’t start well, considering that the game had to be restarted three times before I could actually begin playing. No longer playing as Altair, gamers are now living through the memories of Ezio, another kill-happy ancestor of Desmond, the hapless captive from the first game.

My first mission to enable an assassination was to take five archers out of the equation to ease my passage to my main target. The first thing I did was climb to a roof top. The game handles pretty much as it did before, however in this build the controls felt a little clunky and quite unresponsive. Ezio would often ignore button presses. Regularly I found myself dangling from the ledge I should have leapt from rather than landing on the roof opposite. On the way towards the archers, both over rooftops and through the streets, I was able to catch some of the changes.

Navigating the city streets seems far easier, especially considering that Ubisoft Montreal have given the boot to the annoying beggars who used to follow you every few steps. Stealth kills are still present and are still deeply satisfying; having the option to slyly perform a duel execution on two holy men at the same time (thanks to twin hidden blades), before walking away blending into the crowd instantly brought a smile to my face.

As I neared the vicinity of my targets I ran past a group of people and became aware that I was offered interaction with them. By pressing the triangle button I was able to hire these guys to follow me and help on my mission; more on that shortly. Speaking to the Ubisoft rep, money plays a large part as the game now features a full economy system, enabling you to hire gangs, buy weapons and even own property ( including a brothel). By highlighting a chosen guard, I was able to send my newly hired goons to attack a group of men guarding a door while I’ll scaled a nearby wall completely unnoticed. This sort of strategy I really enjoyed, but it played little part in actually getting to my targets.

Once up above I disposed of the archers in varying ways; throwing them off buildings (in some cases while dangling precariously underneath them), sneak assassinations and full on attacks. The combat is exactly how you will remember (button presses were also being ignored here though), but this time in the midst of combat you can use enemies own weapons against them. When all the guys were down my job was done, but there was heat on me. Running through the environment trying to escape attackers was one of the most exhilarating things in the first game and this is no different, only the guards have a few new tricks up their sleeves. Having rounded a corner and jumped into a trademark bail of hay, the guards picked up a pitch fork and started stabbing at it, leaving me to try and sneak out the other side without receiving an unwanted buttock piercing.

Oh, you can swim too!

One thing I didn’t really take to in the original game were the main assassinations, and for a game that was hyped for its stealthy approach that aspect fell flat on its face. You couldn’t get in and out without being seen; you always ended up in a big sword fight. This hasn’t changed much from the mission I was shown. Still you can’t get to your target without alerting everyone. Worst of all you still have the lengthy conversations with them after you have struck the final blow. Quite what the guards are doing at this point I have no idea.

Whilst playing I asked about some of the aspects of the story. I’m told that Desmond plays a far larger part than simply walking around a lab, and that the character of Ezio has his own story and far more character development as opposed to Altair, who was simply an empty vessel. Ezio also has contraptions to aid him in his battles, such as a flying machine (designed by Da Vinci) but none of this was on show so it’s hard to gauge just how different it is to the previous title.

Surprisingly the game left me a little underwhelmed when it came to the visuals; the textures looked extremely poor. However, after I had finished my play-through I took a glance at another system, and it looked a lot nicer on the machine next to me, so there may have been an issue with the TV/graphical set-up I was on, or maybe they were on a different build of the game to me.

I totally accept that this was an early build of the game, and that the final game is likely to be much improved. There is definitely the basis of a very good game here just like before. However, as to whether they have succeeded in making this the game it should have been first time around I’m a little tentative about, especially on this showing. A large part of this is because there wasn’t much new they were actually able to show me as most of it is being saved for release. I definitely want to spend some more time with Assassins Creed II at some point, but playing this build has cooled my anticipation somewhat and I probably won’t be taking the plunge until the New Year. Probably my biggest disappointment of the show, but then again, I had pretty high expectations.

Usually we’d give you a list of what we’ve discussed, however we talked about that much it’s not going to be worth it. Just listen to it, and rest assured it’s probably one of the better podcasts we’ve done. It was certainly one of my favourite to record.

The episode should be appearing on iTunes shortly as soon as the RSS feeds refresh, or you can stream it or download it below. iTunes users, please drop us a review and help spread the word of the site. If you have any questions or talking points please feel free to email us on podcast@thisismyjoystick.com.

Multifaros / CC BY 3.0

Initially when walking past the booth, I had indeed written it off as the Burnout clone it seemed, but Joe (who must have played it 348957345734 times over the two days) insisted that I should try it, and try it I did. Was it any good? Yes, but I’m still undecided on it.

Before I played the game, the Disney rep (no… not the mouse) explained that this was a very early build, only contained one track with barely any standard features. He wasn’t kidding, as the first thing I noted that I was unable to switch view from far-cam. The second thing I noticed was that there were no HUD elements around the outside of the screen; they all sat on the rear bumper of the car, which was quite a cool effect. The race on show took place in a bustling and stunning looking airport. Early on, the handling did feel a lot like the arcade styling of Burnout; the car has a lot of drift, and the game is extremely forgiving as you bump into the other cars and scenery. So where is the big twist?

Like with Burnout, the better you do the more you fill a meter, only this doesn’t control boost. This meter, when full, allows you to trigger environmental destruction and this aspect is epic. For example I was lagging behind, hit the A button when prompted and it completely deformed the track ahead, making the road sink into an underground tunnel, throwing many of my fellow racers off course.

I was halfway around my first lap when I started thinking ‘It’s ok, but… meh, take it or leave it’. It was just about that point when a building fell on me. I don’t just mean it collapsed and ended my race cheaply; chunks of building slammed into the road, shaking the screen and creating instant obstacles as I drifted to narrowly avoid them. This looked extremely impressive, but at the time I figured it was predetermined to happen on this track all the time. That was until I watched the Splinter Cell brand manager from Ubisoft have a go. This time rather than witnessing what had just happened to me, a Jumbo Jet crashed into the road, leaving him little room to manoeuvre as he had to get through a tight gap between a wing’s twin-engines. These effects only served to hammer home just how visually impressive the game is, even in this early state.

You would think that having a building or a Boeing 747 dropped on top of you would instantly end your chances of winning a race, but the game seems incredibly well balanced and you are never out of it until the winner crosses the finish line. Several times I found myself well behind the pack one minute and then leading it the next, thanks to some nifty racing and a well-timed trigger event. This changeability in the field alone left me believing that this could be a great game to play online.

While I walked away eventually and undoubtedly impressed with what I had played, I still have severe doubts about long lasting appeal that this could offer. That said, the quality of Split Second was the big surprise factor of the Eurogamer Expo for me, and because of that I’ll be keeping a wary eye on the game’s continued development.

Should you be a regular reader, you’ll already know that I’m not a great fan of the hack n’ slash genre. I would go as far to say that generally they bore me to unparalleled depths of despair. While the majority of those who do love them attending the event flocked immediately to the likes of God of War III and Dante’s Inferno, games where the twenty minutes I spent with them were more than enough for me, I had my head turned by Platinum Games and Sega’s Bayonetta.

If you haven’t been following the development of Hideki Kamiya’s keen-to-get-naked vixen, this is a game that fans of his other creation, Devil May Cry, will absolutely adore. Simon, while watching over my shoulder declared the game as ‘Devil May Cry with tits’, but personally I thought it was much more than that. At first, second and even third glance, the game itself seems as if it’s going to be distinctly Japanese. By that I mean it’s going to be about as random as a bucket of elephants. You only have to look at the synopsis to see that: Bayonetta (who looks like Sarah Palin) has a costume that is made out of her hair, which is also a powerful weapon. The more she attacks, the more naked she gets. Yes, you read that right, as random as I can be; even I couldn’t make this stuff up. However, the randomness doesn’t stop there.

After following a ghostly figure through the open part of the demo, I was confronted by several enemies. After expiring rather quickly while still learning the relatively simple but intuitive controls, I set about my taking my second go. This time the game was an absolute joy to play, linking combo’s and attacks with ease. The animation in the game is extremely tight and the graphics are beautiful, if just not up to the standards of God of War.

What the hell just happened?!

In the midst of the attacks there were moments I actually had to turn around and confirm with someone else what I had seen. Midway through a combo, our heroine (who might have been on heroin) pulled out a trumpet and shot the enemy with it. During the next combo an iron maiden rose out of the ground and she kicked an enemy into it before it sunk again. Then, and don’t quote me on the specifics of this as I was rather in awe at the time, her hair turned into a portal, she kicked through it, and gigantic foot (made out of hair) came across the screen hitting all the enemies. During something of a boss-fight, I was prompted for a finishing move. When I activated it she became next to naked with only camera angles sparing her blushes, as her hair transformed into a giant dog that ate the enemy in question. Looking on doesn’t do it justice and would probably put some people off the game, but it plays so well it’s hard not to like it.

As I stepped away from the booth I honestly had absolutely no idea what I had just witnessed, and not one of the onlookers had an answer either. I could say I was dazed or confused, but I knew one thing; I was smiling from ear to ear on account of the sheer enjoyment that I had just experienced. Even at this point I know very little about the story or the setting, I don’t know why she’s capable of the weird stuff she is, but you know what? I don’t actually care; this game is fun, and I want in.