Sure there is a dark side of my character that chuckles to myself when I see a gas tank, and I always take note of security cameras on my travels because years of playing video games has taught me a few little tricks that come in quite useful in everyday life. When I gave this a little more thought it occurred to me that actually there are many positive lessons learned by attending the University of Gaming.

Modern education involves constant multiple-choice style exams that teaches kids to memorise rather than think. Many blame this for shackling creativity and explain why many have so much trouble solving the simplest of problems in the ‘one size fits all’ education system. The good news is that people who play video games can learn more skills from games than they ever did in school.

Lesson One: Everyday is a school day
Whether you are at school, college, university or climbing the ladder of success in the workplace the biggest lesson to learn in life is that everyday is a school day no matter how old you are. You are guaranteed to learn new skills everyday no matter how good you may think that you are.

Video Games mostly begin with a tutorial that very often outstays its welcome, but even the more experienced and cocky gamer who skips such a lesson could end up regretting it when they realise they don’t know how to use dead eye in Red Dead Redemption because of their over enthusiastic skipping.

I must confess that tutorials are something of an annoyance to me, but I have since learned to be a little more patient and learn a thing or two. It took the death of Ben Carmine to make me learn the error of my ways, but I got there in the end. Sadly this won’t bring Ben back.

Ben Carmine dies for our sins!

Lesson Two: Learn from your mistakes.
Each and every one of us will make mistakes on this roller-coaster we call life; however the key lesson is to not repeat them but to learn from them. Sounds simple right? Sure it’s up there with eat less and exercise more but anyone that has seen the Jeremy Kyle Show will know that there is living proof that some people continue to make the same mistakes.

The world of video games does not tolerate fools gladly and if you wish to progress in games such as Trials HD you will learn this frustrating lesson the hard way.

Lesson Three: Trust No-one!
I believe that to win a rat race you need to be a rat. I don’t want to be a rat but unfortunately in life even people that appear to be a good friend in the workplace could be hatching a plan to cause your downfall so they can further their own ambition with you out of the way. Of course not everyone you meet will be your secret nemesis but you need to be aware that it could happen and what signs to look for.

A prime example of this was the nice, incredibly helpful man called Atlas in the game Bioshock. For the majority of the game it felt that you and this affable Irishman struck up a rapport as he helped you escape the claustrophobic and chaotic world of Rapture. However the ending is something that is enough to guarantee you that you will think twice before trusting someone so implicitly ever again.

Atlas was right...

Lesson 4: Follow your own path
If a bear attacks your camp you don’t need to be faster than the bear. You only need to be faster than the slowest camper and this is a lesson that many gamers are forced to learn very quickly when playing online.

Fortune favours the brave, but most game rooms are full of people being predictable taking the same route time after time but the person who is not distracted by others and disciplined enough to follow their own path and separate themselves from the masses will reap the rewards.

Lesson 5: There is no shortcut; experience is the key to success
Wander aimlessly into any online game map and you will be instantly picked off, leaving you feeling more than a little worthless. However if you put the hours in, study the geography of your environment, your moment of glory will come sooner than you think. Like any cheesy 80’s film, if you refuse to give up and work hard you will gain the experience you need to become a contender.

Lesson 6: There is no I in Team
No matter how good you may think you are as an individual you will never be a match for well organized team who work together towards a common goal. Any member of a successful online clan will tell any rookie to leave his ego and quest for personal glory at the door, because it will win you nothing.

"Work as a team, people. Work as a team."

Lesson 7: Problem Solving
Studies show video games make people more perceptive, training their brains to analyze things faster and more effective than those who do not. With games such as the Sims, kids can look at real life problems and it can teach them how to work out their own solutions.

Unfortunately in the real world, sleeping for twenty-four hours will not fix all of your health issues, you cannot re-spawn, you haven’t got three lives. You only get one shot at this life but the lessons you have learned from gaming are possibly more valuable than you will ever learn in any classroom.

I dragged Iain away from writing his gaming column for MSN and presenting for Absolute Radio to discuss his love of gaming, LOST and the fact he even has his own iPhone app.

Q. Where did your love affair with gaming begin?

“The first game I was ever obsessed with was a Popeye cabinet in some crappy little bar in Spain. I don’t know if that was the first game I ever played or not, but it was definitely the first one that I became totally addicted to.”

Q. For those that are too young to remember, can you explain why Elite on the BBC B Computer is a contender for the greatest game ever.

“Elite was and is just awesome. It’s a huge game; I think there is something like 100,000 unique planets (that may be an exaggeration. It could be just 10,000, but that is still an amazing achievement for such an old computer), beautiful vector graphics, an engaging storyline and wonderful space combat and trading. It really has it all. The BBC version is superior because it was the first. Later versions and ports tweaked the game here and there when it didn’t really need it. They should totally bring out an online version for the 360 or PS3.”

Q.  As an ex-videogame TV show presenter, why do you think there has been a lack of quality game related TV shows on our screens?

“The four major channels just aren’t interested because they don’t get huge audiences. Gaming is seen as a niche market. While we all know that isn’t true, in terms of TV audiences it is. There are some good shows on the cable channels (I’m a big fan of Gameface on Bravo) but they are expected to get small audiences. I’ve pitched game shows and know other people with more weight than me who have done the same, and commissioning editors just roll their eyes. It aint gonna happen for a while.”

Q. Did you enjoy the gaming related shows you worked on?

“I enjoyed Thumb Candy a lot. I am very proud of that. It was a history of video games and I got to travel the world and meet some gaming legends. It was the most exciting two weeks. Thumb Bandits wasn’t such a good experience. We were promised so much more and it was never delivered. I seem to remember having to re-record most of the first five shows after an exec from Channel 4 saw them and didn’t like the set. That used up most of the series budget. I got in trouble for doing a review where I said I didn’t like Max Payne, and all the gaming companies threatened to not send us games unless we said nice things. Also, the comedy was pretty awful. Saying that, I still get a lot of nice emails about that show, so maybe I’m wrong.”

Q. Sure, Dominik Diamond set the benchmark for such shows, but should I dismiss my teenage memories of Debbie Greenwood in the show called First Class?

“I don’t remember First Class, but I do remember Debbie Greenwood. She was lovely. Where is she now?”

Last time I saw her she was showing off her toes on QVC.

The Robbins aren't Bobbins!

Q. It has been said that you should never meet your heroes, have you ever met someone you admired only to be disappointed or not actually like them?

“I don’t think so. I’m a big fan of Kiss and interviewed Gene Simmons. He was arrogant and full of himself, but that’s what I wanted from Gene Simmons. I would have been upset if he’d been anything else. Most people have been lovely, and most of my heroes have been great. Andy Partridge, Micky Dolenz; all delightful. Davy Jones was a bit odd…”

Q. What is your console of choice?

“I am a 360 man these days, although my fave console of all time is the Dreamcast. A beautiful machine with wonderful games and 56k dial up; genius”

Q. Do you play online with your headset or do you remain silent like an urban ninja?

“Oh no, I always wear my headset and to make things more fun, I pretend to be American. My wife often comes home to see me pretending to be from Chicago. I don’t know why I find it so entertaining, but it makes me laugh. My American accent is awful, but even Americans are convinced!”

Not everything is big in Japan.

Q. What is your favourite game soundtrack?

“Space Channel 5; wonderful. Everytime I’m in Japan, I try and track it down in specialist game shops, but it’s always just sold out.”

Q. As a Lost Fan were you happy with the ending of the series?

“I flip between thinking it was a wonderful way to tie things up, a work of art. Then I feel cheated because there was an element of purgatory and we were told that was not gonna be the outcome. Yes, I think they cheated us, but it was beautiful. Is that enough of a contradiction for you?”

Q. And… What did you think of the LOST: The Videogame?

“That was the biggest crock of shit ever. So poor. What a waste of a great opportunity. Boring game play, terrible actors, and awful story. Was there a story?”

Q. What has been your favourite game this year?

“Limbo on Xbox live. Wonderful game. Dead simple, beautiful, a little retro. Perfect.”

Q. I was watching the lottery show the other night and thought what has Iain Lee done with his hair? Did you know you had a doppleganger?

“Yes, I was up for that rather well paid job and they went for him!”

OJ Borg, poor man's Iain Lee?

Q. Is Sony Move and Microsoft Kinect going to change the gaming industry or is it just another gimmick?

“I’m suspicious. The fact that Milo isn’t going to be released (is it or isn’t it?) makes me angry for falling, yet again, for the Molyneux bluff and bluster. Have you noticed how they’re already playing down what it can do? When it was announced last year, it could do everything, now it’s probably just going to be good for some dance games. Wicked. I’ll wait until I get to have a go, but I’m not expecting much.

If I’m honest, I like holding a controller. I like to sit down, with my feet up, and twiddle my thumbs. I’m not into moving or anything physical; that’s why I play games.”

Q. 3D gaming?

“I’ve played Wipeout 3D and it did look amazing. I haven’t had a go on the 3DSI or whatever it’s called, but I have heard good things. I don’t think it’s necessary, and probably won’t last, but it’s fun. It’ll be popular for a while and then fade (please don’t show this to me in ten years time when people laugh at the fact that we used to play 2D games).”

Q. Is there anything that you would like to plug?

“I do a radio show on Absolute Radio, Mondays, Thursdays at 11pm. It’s a phone-in show and gets a lot of weirdo’s. You can get the podcasts on iTunes. I also have an iphone app that I thoroughly recommend. Look for Iain Lee on the iTunes store. It’s free.”

Q. Finally, can you settle the age old argument of “Who would win in a fight between a ninja and a pirate?”

“Are you joking? One ninja could take down a whole pirate ship on his own. Easy.”

I thank Iain for his time and walk off into the sunset in search of a free Iphone app and podcast to have a greater understanding of the man they call Mr Iain Lee.

Now moving into the “Open Beta” stage of development the game is available for anyone to sign up and start playing and that is exactly what I have done.

At the start of the game you have a small decrepit ground, a bog standard kit, very few fans and no players. Although not all the features are unlocked yet, the idea is to build all of these individual elements of your club by being successful on the pitch. You begin with pre-season friendlies before progressing on to a Little League, if you are successful at this level the Big League will follow. Games take the form of a quiz; you select short or long passes then answer the following question correctly quicker than your opponent to make that pass. When you’re in range, these options change to shoot with the outcome again decided on getting the question right.

The team in possession select the pass or shot type and with it get an “advantage” this is an amount of time whereby only the team in possession can answer. The advantage period is shorter for the long pass/shoot option to represent the lower accuracy you would associate with the ball travelling the longer distance. On top of this you get “free passes” the number of which are decided by the strength of your attack compared to your opponents defence.

Free passes FTW!

Here lies my first potential gripe with the game set up. As you begin with no players in your squad (but can still play matches) it doesn’t take much for someone who has played a few games to gain a massive advantage. Sign just three or four players and you will soon have ten free passes a game to your opponents none. Now admittedly you have to earn the ability to perform the free pass by building up a game meter but it does mean that one correct answer can get you a shooting chance if used correctly.

Each question gives you a choice of four answers assigned to your arrow keys. Although you have the advantage period it pays to answer questions as quickly as possible as your away games are played in your absence and your question history will play the game for you, meaning that the better your history the more chance you have of taking the points. Should your opponent answer the question correctly before you they will take possession. If neither side answer correctly then possession becomes loose and a 50-50 question follows. In these situations there are only two answers and no advantage, the first team to answer correctly take possession of the play.

Your starter for 10

Questions are hugely varied ranging from historical International records to last weekend’s League Two results and, although I have seen a few cases of repetition, this is not normally the case. Games last around ten minutes and generally have a good flow to them.

You are usually given two to four days to play a fixture and failure to do so will result in a 0-4 defeat, it is a tough schedule as you can have up to four fixtures open to play at any one time and each home game will use up six Stamina. You will need to manage your matches correctly to allow enough time for your stamina to replenish naturally or a visit to the shop to buy some more will be needed to avoid regular 0-4 defeats.

In the front end of the game you have a collection of menus where you can manage your club. There is a Kit Editor and a Stadium Editor (currently locked) to view and edit these two areas, the Shop, where you can buy players or Stamina which is used only to play your home matches, and then an Achievements area to see any prizes unlocked in your matches.

As I alluded to earlier the graphical feel throughout is very much one of a comic book with bold colours and square jawed centre halves. It really does throw me back to my childhood where I would run to the shops at the weekends to get my latest fix of the legend Roy Race and his Melchester Rovers. The in match animations are displayed in this same comic strip fashion and look good, with the front end menus being easy to follow and continuing the shine and polish while keeping you informed of your clubs progress.

NUTS!

Within the menus you have background music playing which is a fairly varied mix of vocal tracks and during the match a voice over follows each question with an “Alan Partridge” style one liner. I have to be honest and say that although a few of these did have me chuckling away to myself, the number of sound bites at this stage is much lower than that of questions and they do become repetitive quite quickly. They do fit in with the style of the game though and overall are a welcome addition.

Being a Beta it is fair to say that there have been some teething problems with the game, for example the sound bites don’t always match up to what is happening on the pitch. There have also been issues with the game not loading at all or players getting to the start of a match but then not being able to play, resulting in a 0-4 home loss. However, with the website behind the game and the forums that are a big part of this, the issues are well known and progress to resolve them has been fairly good to date.

On top of the forums and help pages the main website also has a news feed which has all the latest football stories from around the country, keeping you up to date on the sort of topics you may find yourself questioned on in your next match.

There are a few issues that still need to be ironed out before the game goes live in September but even without all the features unlocked, the early signs are fairly good for Big Match Striker. The website alone has a good deal to offer football fans and it is nice to see that in an era where we tend to get only the same few big franchises repeated year after year, Super Massive Games have dared to come up with something new and different. Time will tell if they manage to pull it off.

You can sign up to join in at www.bigmatchonline.com

A few misleading articles by the otaku site Sankaku Complex (careful, the link is definitely NSFW), full of mistranslations and omissions that seemed quite intentional, given the past hate-filled articles by the site on anything pertaining Square Enix. These misconceptions spread like wildfire and gave the general audience a quite warped vision of the system and the game. Unfortunately even more sanctioned websites decided to approach the matter in a sensationalistic way, also omitting some crucial information.

The general idea that was spread is that the game strongly limits your playtime to eight hours per class played, while some websites like Sankaku Complex tried to pass the idea in their misleading headlines that the limit was eight hours period.

How does this apparent draconian system really work? In a quite more complex way than many have been led to believe. I’m going to analyze it thanks to the latest message by the game’s director Nobuaki Komoto corroborated by my personal experience in the beta testing.

First of all the system isn’t tied with your playtime. It’s not a matter how many hours you play, but a matter of how much experience you earn. If you’re standing around or exploring, the system doesn’t affect you and it works only when you’re earning experience for any class/weapon skill.

I don't feel fatigued at all...

As you level up the system counts how much experience you’ve been earning from the beginning of the week, and after you have passed eight stages (that the official message defined “thresholds”) your  experience gain for each action will start to lower gradually: 90%, 80% and so forth, until it reaches zero in seven more stages, or thresholds. After a week (real time) the system resets and you start earning experience again at the normal rate. This is pretty much what most sites out there concentrated on.

This system, though, is tied to each class or weapon skill you’re leveling. If you change to a different weapon/class, that class will have a separate value, and will start from 100% itself, whatever the fatigue threshold of the previous class. If you change back to the previous class you go back to its threshold that was previously saved.

This alone means that the time in which you’ll earn full experience is most definitely not just a few hours, as you’re allowed to level up as many classes as you want between the eighteen implemented at launch. I would strongly discourage trying to skill up a single class all the way to the cap, because you’d have a effect similar to playing without a properly leveled sub-job in Final Fantasy XI: Your character would be much weaker than those of your peers, and the community would easily end up labeling you as “lazy” and shunning you. One of the best features of Final Fantasy XIV, after all, is mixing and matching abilities from different classes in order to create your own unique character (as explained in my hands on article).

Ok... now I feel "fatigued"...

This is not all. A detail that was overlooked by many sites out there is actually a quite crucial one, that makes the system work much better than it sounded so far; as you change class/weapon and stop leveling up a class that reached a certain threshold, the fatigue of that class will start recharging, making you climb back through the thresholds until you go back to 100% earned experience. This means that you will not need to wait for the week to pass and the system to reset. By juggling between two or more classes, it’s entirely possible to not to experience the fatigue system at all (I can assess this with first-person experience, despite the fact that I played a whole lot, I’m not exactly a casual gamer), even if you’re playing for several hours a day.

There are, moreover, a few details that many overlooked. The fatigue system has been present through the whole beta testing, but it become apparent only in the third and latest stage. Why is that? At the beginning of the third stage the leveling curve was changed quite a bit, and the experience received became much higher than intended. While that was partially addressed in the following beta, whoever played during those days were put much higher on the fatigue scale than intended.

Also, as Komoto clearly stated, the system isn’t set in stone, and will be balanced carefully during the next few weeks, with the promise of reaching the “fatigue point” much more slowly. In addition to that, the experience lost due to the system (named “surplus” experience) will not be completely lost, but will be saved. The development team is working on devising ways to use that surplus experience for different purposes, making progression meaningful even when past the fatigue threshold.

Ouch! That hurt!

In my opinion, the fatigue system isn’t a problem per-se, but it’s balancing in the third phase of the beta was (intentionally or not) quite a lot off the scale, and that’s what caused it to become excessively apparent and annoying to quite a few players.

The biggest problem is that there is the possibility for some players to eventually reach zero growth in a class, feeling forced to change to another class. Personally, I feel that if  fatigue reduced the experience gained, but didn’t completely reduce it to zero (say, reducing skilling up to 50%, or even 30% after all the fifteen have been passed, without dropping further), most people would feel much better about it. It’s definitely much better, as opposed to not having a choice between a changing class to level up at a full rate, or to continue with the current one with diminished returns.

Many beta testers are offering this kind of feedback, and hopefully the developers will consider it. After all the game is still in beta, and the fatigue system is nothing more than numbers and percentages that can be rebalanced relatively easily and quickly if needed.

I’ll definitely stand by and report on the evolution of this and other systems in open beta, so stay tuned for further details in the next few weeks.

Bazooka for Victory!
As you’d expect from a game like this, there is no story. There is no explanation as to why these worms have insane weaponry or a desire to kill each other in a variety of different ways. However, have we really ever asked for this? There are, however, several different modes for you to play through offline. The first is a single player campaign, which has 35 different challenges ranging from standard worm-on-worm action to such things as propelling worms to a target point through the use of various items and equipment, which help to show new and different tactics above and beyond using them directly. There are also two never before seen modes: Warzone is based around the careful use of your armaments against eaves of increasingly hard enemies while Body Count is simply taking enemies out in the shortest time to get the most points. These alternatives mode will be something you probably play once or twice when you bored of quick matches or online.

2D Worms!
As you would expect from a game in the Worms series, all these modes effectively link back to the standard 2D Worms gameplay (lets ignore Worms 3D shall we?). You have weapons of various types. You must then choose the best tool for the job before selecting the necessary power in order to get it to hit where you want it to go. This style is tried, tested and known to just work. However, Team 17 have added a few things, the first is the addition of fire, which can subtlety change many a plan. Rather than having to hit a shot dead on, flames now mean you can nail the little git that’s on the other side of the dip thanks to the wind. Unfortunately, as it maintains the gameplay of the older Worms titles it can still have the same issues, for example, if you don’t get into the mind-set of aiming some of the weapons, you just won’t succeed.

The sheep return and explode into lamb chops!

Worms Reloaded is based on Worms Armageddon, so brings over all the weapons from that and more. Alongside the staples such as the shotgun, bazooka, grenades and blowtorch, you also get some new stuff such as the Napalm strike, the gas canister and the great new sentry guns. These add a few extra new moves and are great to use. It is a shame that the excellent tutorial doesn’t cover some of the new stuff such as the Worship idols and the Electromagnets, which does make you your first few matches with them a pain. Players who don’t master all of them can be at a serious disadvantage when they jump in online.

One thing I have to point out is just how crazy the customise options are. In the previous games on the Xbox Live Arcade you had a load of control over what your worms are like, but now you can also change their headgear, victory dance, tombstones and even tone. On top of that there are also customisable modes and terrain sets. All of this customisation is slightly tempered by a store where in-game currency (earned by completing single player challenges) is used to buy new weapons, terrain and gravestones amongst other things. I’m not a great fan of locking away content in a customisation heavy game. Worse is that it locks away several weapons, which unbalances the online mode as those only interested in the multiplayer won’t be able to get these more powerful tools.

No greater pleasure than to see your enemies squirm before you!
The graphics in this latest version have to be some of the best in any of the games so far, including the version on Xbox Live Arcade. High Definition textures look really crisp and the Worms have really intricate detail you’d never see otherwise. This is combined with a great set of particle effects. The new fire effect is probably some of the best 2D fire I’ve seen. The rest of the weapons effects are also pretty good and are all as humorous as you’d expect from a Worms game. I should point out that as a PC game it is vital that you have the latest graphics drivers, as when I tried to play it with an out-dated set, it was unplayable.

Sounds Like Victory! Oops!
Unfortunately I have one or two slight niggles with the sound. Most of the weapons sound pitch perfect but some of the Worms voice sets are probably ripped straight out of the first game and sound rather low quality. This is a real shame, as the rest of the voices are brilliant with a whole bunch of humour. There is nothing funnier than hearing the world’s most terribly stereotypical Yorkshire accent saying “eh that’s grand” as you drop a bomb on your opponent’s head. The music to go in the background is pretty much the same as it always has, and isn’t really anything to write home about.

Good old Worm killing action

All for one and free for all!
As I’ve mentioned, the multiplayer is probably the best part of the package. So far I’ve had no issues with lag or anything while playing and it’s just been smooth. However, many of the games you get into are several rounds long so it’s not a quick “jump in” game unless you play a custom match. However, Worms is best played with four people around one screen and unusually for a PC game this is fully supported. I had a big group of friends play it all huddled round the PC and it was a blast.

You like customisation? This game is full of it!

The Worms are indeed Reloaded!
Worms Reloaded takes the perhaps the best Worms game, and then brings it back to its PC roots in the best possible way. It has hours of content to enjoy, from the tricky puzzles of the single player to the brilliant online mode. For both new and old fans this has to be the definitive version. Team 17 are back in style.

How We Review Games

This generation, when you think of Nintendo, you think of dominance. Wii systems can still be a hard thing to find several years after release. Even with releases like Halo 3 and Metal Gear Solid 4, neither Microsoft nor Sony have been able to come close to Nintendo in terms of console sales. Adding on to that statement, Nintendo’s ‘DS’ is winning the handheld battle as well. Getting some time with the new 3DS, and really seeing what it is going to bring to the table furthers my belief that Nintendo will continue winning in the handheld department.

The first thing you need to understand about the 3DS is that while it may be touted as fully 3D, it’s not. It is an effect that makes it out to be 3D, called ‘Augmented Reality’. Nintendo isn’t the only company investing in this technology as Sony actually tried this with a game called ‘Invisimals’ a year ago. While we haven’t heard much else from Sony about this, I am sure that they will look into it further.

Fingerprint magnet.

What does all this shifting to 3D mean for the industry? Is it just another fad like motion control? Everyone thought that was going to fail but look at it now. It has been the money tree for Nintendo and Sony and Microsoft are both following in step with ‘Kinect’ and ‘Move’. In my honest opinion, I think that while Sony may have been late to the motion control party, they’re taking the vanguard’s line as far as 3D goes. The E3 booth for ‘Motorstorm: Apocalypse’ in 3D was filled all day, every day. Don’t even get me started on how long the line was for the 3DS. We waited in that line for a good two hours, almost missing our Rock Band 3 appointment. I’m not touting 3D as the industry’s biggest invention since high definition, but look at the facts; Nintendo and Sony both are investing heavily in it. It is going to have a major impact.

As an individual when I look at the 3DS, I can’t help but think “What’s next?” This thing is truly a marvel of technology. You don’t even need glasses! I don’t know how many people have said they’d rather game without glasses and no 3D, than game with glasses and have 3D. I loved it, and everyone I saw at the 3DS booth loved it. I’ve seen plenty of 3D implementations, and while they are cool and fun… that’s all they are; cool and fun. Nintendo DS was originally created to cater to the more casual market, like most of Nintendo’s products. The 3DS follows that trend while making even more of the hardcore gamers turn around. 3D is becoming a big thing, and Nintendo is capitalizing on that fact. The possibilities are endless with this piece of hardware.

Looking at the features of the 3DS, Nintendo provides you with a rather intuitive slider on the side of the top half of the device. This lets you adjust the extremity of said ‘Augmented Reality’. After a few minutes with it on maximum I couldn’t help but turn it down. It’s pretty tough on the eyes, at least for me. Another new addition is the stereoscopic camera, that allows you to capture images in 3D, and play games with the world around you. I was able to capture peoples faces around me, upon which they moulded into a shape and attacked me. While it may not have been the most impressive use of the 3DS’s technology, it tells us that if this is only the beginning, there is a lot more to come.

Cartridge case (top left), charging cradle (bottom), cartridge (top right)

Furthermore, Nintendo has opted to add a PSP-esque analog button to the DS. Since they didn’t remove the D-Pad, it makes things a bit cluttered on the left side. They are continuing the use of cartridges, and are now providing a charging ‘cradle’ rather than the traditional cord. Whether or not a cord will be available I have no clue. Other minor changes include the headphone jack being moved to the middle of the DS’s body, and the change from a sliding power on or off, to a button.

While we have seen many reincarnations of Nintendo’s money-printing DS, I believe wholeheartedly that this one will trump all of its predecessors. Instead of changing the size or general features of the DS, Nintendo has blown all the stops. A sleek new look, augmented reality, stereoscopic cameras, and Nintendo’s ever-firm hold on the handheld market will ensure its continuing dominance. Welcome to the 3D era.

Good or bad, I find out if Kinect really is the future.

During my trial, I played with two people who aren’t extensive gamers alongside myself and my girlfriend who play games on the Xbox regularly. When both my girlfriend and I were playing Joy Ride with our friends, we got slaughtered, every… single… time. No matter how many successful laps of Forza I’ve had in the past, no matter how many times I’ve whipped around the cities in Project Gotham or propelled ahead at high velocity in Gran Turismo, Joy Ride still had lessons to teach me. I came 8/8 during every race I played and I’d even learned how to do boosting and stunts in mid air. Clearly, previous involvement with games of a similar ilk has no bearing on your capabilities within Kinect games. From my experience, it actually seems that non-regular gamers found it easier to adjust than those of us who are used to controllers. Our posture was all wrong and we were a little rigid, as we are too used to having a prop to focus our intensity on. i.e the controller.

When you first play Kinect, especially if you are a regular gamer, you’re going to be very surprised by how important every aspect of your body is to your own individual progress within a game and your general success rate. Having only trialled three of the games in Kinect Adventures, and Joy Ride, I didn’t get to see everything Kinect can do, but have enough perspective now to see just how important this will be to the way gaming will be played from this point forward. The slightest twitch of your leg, or the force you put behind the swing of your arm, is all crucial to your performance. In River Rush, you can have up to two people playing, each at either side of the raft, and you will need to use teamwork in order to maximise your points; both steering the raft by moving your bodies and jumping in order to reach the Adventure Points. Whereas, in Ricochet, a dodgeball type game, you will need to use every part of your body in order to perform at your best.

Every movement of your body plays a part!

While there will be Xbox Live support within certain titles, Joy Ride will enable you to have eight people playing over Xbox Live at one time, the focus of Kinect will be in your living room. In an age where online gaming dominates the multiplayer market, Kinect looks set to bring the party back into your own home and that’s why this Christmas, finding one of these is probably going to be very difficult, but worth the trouble!

Kinect is going to open doors wide for the future. Anyone who has not necessarily been into gaming before is suddenly going to be given a rich opportunity to embrace it as never before. Casual gamers will be in the same boat as those who take pride in being labelled ‘hardcore’ and it will now be possible for people with handicaps and ailments to ascend to gaming greatness and compete with others on an even playing field, something which has never been possible until now. In that regard, Kinect is truly revolutionary.

It’s easy to see why some would be annoyed by this abrupt change in the gaming landscape, players have been used to using a game pad for years, adjusting to directional buttons or analogue sticks for movements and the tap of a button prompting a character to jump or punch. With Kinect, the individual has become the controller and every action is determined by the way you move your body. Suddenly, it’s all about dexterity, flexibility and endurance as opposed to who can button mash the fastest.

A standard set-up for any living room!

Some may argue that Kinect offers too much freedom and that developers aren’t going to make full use of the capabilities. I wonder whether the five year lifespan Kinect has been given will be enough time for developers to truly get an idea for what can really be done with the technology. It’s worth noting that Sony’s Move is being supported by most of Sony’s forthcoming A-List franchises (such as Killzone 3, Motorstorm Apocalypse and Little Big Planet 2), whereas Microsoft have yet to associate any of their key franchises with Kinect, with games initially announced or rumoured to feature Kinect support no longer receiving it. Don’t they trust their multi-million dollar project with their multi-million dollar game franchises? Do they think people wouldn’t play them? As I previously alluded, people who weren’t gamers before can suddenly become gamers; shouldn’t they get a chance to be competitive in the games that people class as ‘hardcore’, or would Kinect support cheapen the experience?

All I know is that my hands-on with Kinect was an eye-opener. Microsoft have created something fun for everyone, something that will make non-gamers interested and want to get in on the fun too. However, it may have some way to go before it proves to the fence sitters and the doubters that this is a revolution, that it is the next step and that it is as important to their gaming collection as anything that may have come before it.

I will be returning to Covent Garden this weekend to play more Kinect and will hopefully be trying out Dance Central, Kinectimals, Kinect Sports, Your Shape, EA Sports Active 2 and more Kinect Adventures and Joy Ride. If you have any questions you’d like me to pose to the team at the exhibition centre or any questions you’d like me to answer in a full hands-on report then list them in the post below.

Also, check out our Facebook page to see a video of me playing Joy Ride!

‘Wakka, wakka!’ of course…
Right, bottom line. Pac-man World 3 has only two things in common with the original source material; Pac-man and ghosts. Everything else is new, imagined around the characters. The story is nothing to shout about but here goes. It’s Pac-man’s birthday and Mrs Pac-man has made him a cake. He’s just about to blow out the candles when he’s teleported to a nearby tree. Confused, he zips around at random for a bit before disappearing completely. It’s then we find out that Orson, one of the ghosts, has nicked Pac-man to force him to save the world on his birthday, the callous bastard. Ever the irritating, cheery optimist, Pac-man puts a positive on it and sets off to complete his task. Cue the weirdest platformer I’ve played in a long time and by far the most strained story I’ve had the displeasure to sit through since… Kane and Lynch. Oh yeah, it’s that bad.

The big problem here is, story parts are relegated to annoying sweeping camera moves and boring mid shots of Pac-man talking without moving his mouth. Most of the other characters are either identikit bad guys (possibly an attempt at irony that totally misses its mark) and ghosts. Each one has a personality, sure, but they’re so stereotypical that they grate almost instantly. The pink ghost is called Pinky and she’s a girly girl, but she’s got attitude! The red one is the tough, fighting ghost, so he sounds like the bastard child of Rocky Balboa and Michael Corleone. It’s impossible to endear yourself to any of the characters, least of all Pac-man himself. Namco decided to give him a cheese-grater, cookie-cutter, sugar sweet American drawl making him sound like a reject from the Goonies. Every time he opens his triangular mouth I cringe and wince in anticipation of the next gloriously bad anecdote or dumb optimistic quip. He is the thickest character I’ve had the displeasure of controlling in a long time. At least Duke Nukem knows where he stands when it comes to women; Pac-man acts like a five year old thrust into this mad, violent and altogether inconvenient adventure.

This is one of the better quips...

Yeah, Pac-man is a badass. His attacks consist of brutal monkey punching and bouncing on his foes like a radioactive basketball. No blood of course, but there might as well be. He also has a dash move, which is used for getting up steep hills and activating spin pads. Try using it to hit enemies and you’ll more than likely end up in harms way. The puzzles consist of hitting the right switch, finding coloured crystals to activate airborne lines of pellets and recovering ancient triangles to open equally ancient doors. It’s basic stuff, but is solid enough. Overall the game is actually pretty fun. Running around smacking weird, lizard things until they pop, munching pellets and platfoming about. It’s nothing special but it works well enough to carry the game so far. The only thing is, after a few hours of play, a niggling feeling started to creep into my mind and I quickly came to a conclusion; Pac-man World 3 might as well be Adventure World 3.

Adventure-man…
Pac-man has sweet FA to do with this game. It feels like a standard platform adventure with a Pac-skin. You can imagine anything in place of the yellow hero. I imagined a little cartoony boy, sort of like a 15 year old Prince of Persia, rollicking around with a sabre killing goblins, but you can think up whatever you want. The control and execution is so simple, it could fit any story, any character, any situation. In fact, it would probably be more enjoyable if it was a totally new IP, free from the shackles of Pac-man. That’s the issue here; Pac-stuff seems crow-barred in instead of lovingly adhered to. There is no need for this game to be Pac-man, except that it sells. If this would’ve been, I don’t know, Crystal Land 3, no-one would have bought it. People would think ‘Oh, another mediocre yet strangely enjoyable platformer? Screw that, I want guns and gore!’ and pass it over. Stapling Pac-man to it made people pay attention, and hence the series had three reasonably successful games rather than one big flop.

That inane grin is plastered on his face throughout the entire bloody game...

The Verdict
So in conclusion, Pac-man World 3 is a bit of fun, nothing more. It won’t change your life, it won’t take your breath away. It might make you smile, if you like bad jokes and miss-aimed irony, but chances are you’ll finish it in a few hours and feel vaguely accomplished. Maybe it gave a little group of Namco’s mammoth development team the chance to make a fun, simple and entertaining platformer that would actually sell, happy to take it in the arse and make it a Pac-man title. Maybe it’s all just one big, ill-fated cash-in. Whatever the truth, Pac-man World 3 comes close to gold, but its over-pushed skin and bland storyline prevent it from truly shining. Give it a rent, or pick it up cheap if you fancy a short burst of brain-dead, old-skool platforming.

Neil’s Deals Best Price: £10.95 at Amazon Marketplace

No joy here then, but I’m starting to enjoy this more. Next time I’ll be questing through Gauntlet: Seven Sorrows…

It has taken a massive four years but finally, we have that sequel. Developed by Feelplus and published by Konami, the demo is now available to download and play on XBOX Live and I have been testing the “control-pad-out-the-window” level so that you guys and gals don’t have to.

For those of you who didn’t torture yourself with the original, N3 II follows the same Slash-em-up style as its predecessor, much in the vein of Ninja Gaiden or Devil May Cry (only nowhere near as good). It gives you the impression of a vast open world but the truth is the game is very much an on-rails experience. Strangely your giant oversized swords can take down a concrete tower with a single swipe but a wooden fence is indestructible.

Big, sharp swords. Can't break wood though.

In this demo you get to play as a single character, Galen, with a choice of two weapons. Both are your run-of-the-mill “Giant Sword” fare and can be combined with magical “skills” such as lightning bolts or quakes. Again, if you have played the likes of Ninja Gaiden or Bayonetta you’ll know exactly what to expect with these.

You have a choice of two missions. The “Orphea Castle Gates” gives you a feel of the general level structure while “The Behemoth” shows you a standard boss battle.

Let’s begin with the “Orphea Castle Gates”. The level opens with you faced up to a small army of some forty or fifty and when I say this is just the beginning, I mean it. During the course of this single level your kill count comfortably reaches 1000. At any one time you may have some 100 enemies attacking you at once and the combo potential is huge (I managed 789 hits at one point).

The unfortunate side to this is that, in the demo at least, there is absolutely no variation. Enemies are fairly lifeless and tend to just walk towards you like lambs to the slaughter. You get the odd swipe from behind while you’re in full swing but if it were not for the sheer volume this would be a walk in the park.

Throughout the level you are given additional objectives such as destroy the tower or kill all the enemies but essentially all you need to remember is to keep hitting your quick and strong attack buttons (X and Y) as quickly as you can. At the end you will be faced with a mini-boss who is much tougher to beat and failure at any stage sees you having to start right back at the beginning. Something which on more than one occasion had the “control-pad-out-the-window” level tipping slightly past the “swear-abuse-at-the-screen” stage.

The Behemoth is essentially a giant flame throwing dragon and is surrounded by hundreds more minions. As is always the case with boss battles you need to find its weakness and exploit it. Again, if you fail at any point its frustratingly back to square one.

He's a big boy

At no point in the demo did I notice any slowdown on screen which is something the original really suffered from. In fact, the graphics overall are good. As you slaughter the swathes of enemies, body parts and blood spatters fly across the screen. The animations are good and the backgrounds are grand giving the game a dark, gothic feel that really fits comfortably. Likewise the background, orchestral musical score plays its part in setting the tone of the game.

N3 II is a fairly short demo in truth and in all honesty it is difficult to say at this stage if the full game will suffer from the same issues that hampered the original. The short video you are presented with if you wait on the start screen is blighted with the slowdown that was rightly criticised first time around and though the individual level that you can play is easy enough, the lack of a checkpoint and the unforgiving boss battle suggest that this too may be a challenge.

We’ll find out on September 10th when the game hits the shops.

Performing under the influence (of many other games)
Welcome to the sports event of the future… apparently. Set in the future, Monday Night Combat takes gun combat and turns it into a popular but light-hearted spectator sport; however that façade simply covers over what is essentially an amazingly fun tower defence game. The difference here from other tower defence outings is that instead of controlling from above, you’re bang in the middle of the action, shooting the enemies along with your chosen defences.

Okay, so there is no story, but it is worth mentioning that Monday Night Combat has so many influences starting from its colourful design, with so many more under the hood that it would be nigh on impossible to be able to list them all here and maintain any sort of coherent article. The first one that most will connect with is visually, and I’m finding it really easy likening it to Valve’s multiplayer masterpiece ‘Team Fortress 2’, but in gameplay it probably has more of a feel of the Mad Moxxi DLC from Borderlands, as I’m about to explain.

Ever wanted to be caught in the middle of a tower defence situation?
The aim of the game in Monday Night Combat is always the same no matter which of the three modes you are on; defend your money ball from being attacked from the waves upon waves of enemies. Should it lose its entire shield while under your guard, you lose. Thankfully, as in all tower defence games, you have a number of tricks up your sleeve. As you defeat enemies, you’ll earn cash that you can spend on your defence. In between each round, you’ll have a short time-span in which to set up and upgrade a number of different turrets and other instruments, such as jump panels, to aid you along the way. These can only really be set in one of the many predefined slots littered around the area, but it does require some thought on how to manage the layout and knowing when you’ll need them keeps the action quick paced and hectic.

Of course, the most powerful weapon you’ll have in the game is yourself. I alluded to a visual likeness to Team Fortress 2 earlier, but in fact this game is also like it in its class based set-up. Before a match, you can choose between one of six classes; Assault, Tank, Support, Assassin, Gunner and Sniper, all of which are incredibly fun to play with, and will probably see you spending a lot of time experimenting with. You control your chosen class from a third person perspective, and the handling is pretty smooth, as seems to be the case with most games made with the Unreal Engine. Aside from the usual element of running, gunning and the various defence management duties you’ll be partaking in, you’ll also be able to upgrade your character, levelling four statistics up to a maximum of three levels in each category. What that category does depends entirely on your chosen class, and will have an eventual effect one of the unique skills he might have.

The Assault and Tank classes

For example, as you learn in the tutorial, the Assault Class can throw detonating charges by hitting X, use a jetpack (to limited effect) with Y, or charge at an enemy with B, and you might choose to spend your money making his grenades more powerful over some of the other skills, at least in the short term. These special attacks can be used once before being subjected to a short cool down period, preventing you from spamming the hell out of some of them, and offers a thoughtful element as to when is the right time to use them, especially as you get to the final waves. As I said, it’s worth experimenting with these, as later into the game you’ll find yourself able to purchase custom classes, enabling you to build a character that truly suits your style of play.

The main mode, and only offline mode, is ‘Blitz’. In this you’ll be against hordes of enemies fixated with the idea of attacking your cash prize with all the tenacity of a certain one-legged ex-wife of a certain former Beatle… It’s here where my first thought of Moxxi’s Underdome in Borderlands came to mind, as you have to endure a pre-set number of waves of enemies until the end, but instead of survival, your goal is to protect. Thankfully, in this game, death isn’t the end, as you will re-spawn but with the fair penalty of being unable to get back into the action immediately, leaving the money ball exposed and you hoping that your defences will hold. The enemies themselves are colourful robots, and these come in many shapes and sizes with differing abilities, so while the likes of a line of Black Jacks heading your way early on might not seem very challenging, wait until the later levels where the game really starts to mix things up.

This is made more frantic when enemies can be released into the arena by any number of gates, ramping up both the fun and the difficulty proportionately. It’s a game that manages to balance the feel of an arcade shooter and the need for strategy, while also sitting perfectly between the goals of challenge and satisfaction. My only real complaint here is that the game isn’t as much fun on your own as it is with friends… but still very much fun nonetheless.

This is the gunner. He likes to shoot things.

Imagine if Pixar had made the movie ‘Gamer’…
The influence of Team Fortress 2 is felt once again in the game’s visuals, with a hefty focus on fun and here it works to great effect. Without looking jaw-dropping, the game looks sharp and colourful, revelling in the cartoony look that Uber Entertainment have bestowed upon it. Pretty much everything in Monday Night Combat is aesthetically pleasing, and works extremely well from a functional standpoint too. Even something as simple as menu navigation is pleasing to the eye, with a smart look that sets the tone perfectly for what you’re about to play. The class designs, although possibly a little derivative, are full of character and cleanly designed, but have been made with a fantastic eye for detail.

Sounds like a sporting event.
Much of the presentation in Monday Night Combat is trying to sell the game to you as a futuristic sport, and it’s hard to deny Uber Entertainment’s success in this field, and no more so is this the case than aurally. From the Sky Sports styled, guitar driven title soundtrack, to the sounds during the battles, the game does carry an authentic sporting feel, even if other areas betray that. In gameplay, the game is rife with crowd noise and gunfire, but there is some limited voice acting. The voice of what would otherwise probably be an annoying announcer rings around the arena, commenting occasionally on the events and adding some genuinely funny quips, but it’s managed in a way where you barely notice he’s there. It’s probably fair to say that the guns do lack a bit of wallop, although the lack of rumble aids that feeling.

More people = More fun.
Monday Night Combat is at its absolute best when played online with people you know and trust. The game takes a bit of a cue from Left 4 Dead in this respect, where at times the game can be a punishing lesson in the need for teamwork, but equally makes success seem much more enjoyable when it happens. In this mode the game is exactly as you would find offline, except you can play it with up to eight others, and this is an absolute blast. Communication really is a must, as is a nice spread of classes across the team to enable you to keep defences at full health while others concentrate on dispatching the waves of enemies heading your way.

The undisputable jewel in MNC’s crown, though, is the online only mode of Crossfire. Instead of just being against bots, you’ll be battling another team in six on six combat. Obviously this time, you’ll have to factor in an offensive strategy as you look to take down their money ball, while still protecting your own. The mode is pretty similar to Warfare found in the Unreal Tournament games, but with the added element of tower defence to factor into it. Added into this mode, is the ability to buy bots. Once spawned, you can direct your flow of bots towards the enemy base in a bid to take down their money ball. This mode is an absolute blast and I recommend you check it out over the standard online Blitz mode.

Crossfire mode is hectic but genius.

Across both modes, MNC handles very well, although I did experience some very minor lag occasionally in the games I’ve played, but put simply; there is quite a lot going on at any one time. Still, that aside it’s the online mode that is the reason to own this game, and although there are only two modes, it’s close to perfect, and the fun factor alone will keep you going for some time.

You won’t just be playing this on Monday Nights.
Monday Night Combat is one of those games that doesn’t require a lot of advertising clout to make you take notice as the quality really does speak for itself. It certainly managed to take me by surprise, and it fully deserves its place amongst the other gems that Microsoft likes to put out over their annual Summer of Arcade. It’s fun, frantic and has just about the right amount of strategy while straddling two very different genres. It’s a good game on your own, but an outstanding game with others, and as such it’s the online mode that will keep you coming back for more. A game I can see surviving on Xbox Live for some time to come.

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