Editorials

Valentines Day Gaming

February 14, 2012, Author: Matt James, 9 Comments

Valentine’s Day. What does it make you think of? Roses? Candlelit dinners? Boxes of chocolates? How about MW3 or FIFA 12? Not many men, who have partners of the female species that is, would instantly think of the latter. Society urges us to think of the former. As a man who likes few things better than to be alone, to pick up his controller and have a little play by himself, I have to take a step back and have a look at the impact that gaming can have on a relationship.

Firstly, there’s the social aspect. Like me, you’ve probably tried to argue with gaming critics that gaming is now a much more sociable experience due to services like Xbox Live. If, however, unlike me you’re man enough to admit the truth, it really isn’t. Is it? Let’s be honest! It’s great to play games with friends who aren’t in the same building as you, granted. However, more often than not we end up playing games against faceless, and often real-nameless, people who could be A.I. for all we really know.

The real beauty of gaming is the way in which you can lose yourself in the virtual world you choose. When I’m playing I don’t want any disturbances or discussion. I want to be running about killing zombies, scoring goals or ending nuclear terrorist threats. That’s why I love gaming.

One game that had a particularly huge impact on a previous relationship of mine was Football Manager. I was in my late teens and my girlfriend would come around only for me to sit at my computer for hour upon hour, whilst my now ex-girlfriend was left to chat with my mother. This wasn’t fair on either party (especially as I later found out that they weren’t overly fond of each other!). The problem with something like Football Manager, though, is that it isn’t a game where you can just switch it on for a half hour and have a quick whirl. It needed my absolute dedication and attention. It said a lot about my relationship that I was willing to devote more time to my managerial career than her!

Sometimes she doesn't understand me...

I recently got engaged to a wonderful Irish girl who isn’t that keen on the video gaming experience. In fact, I’d go as far as to say she actively dislikes it! She, unlike other girlfriends, is willing to put up with me playing on my 360. She, God bless her, is even willing to feign delight when I score a wonder goal in FIFA Head to Head seasons. That’s where relationships succeed or fail; that willingness to allow the other to do what they want. I’ve got to endure some crappy TV shows in order to earn some game-time, but it’s a 50-50 agreement.

Some couples share the same ideals as each other. Our own Andy, for example, enjoys playing games with his better half. I remember reading a tweet of his proudly stating how she was about to embark on a Skyrim mission for the first time. Part of me twanged with jealousy. “Would my fiancee like to play FIFA with me? Would she fancy going co-op on Gears 3?” Then I realised that the best thing for our relationship was that she didn’t want to, but was happy for me to do it. Each and every relationship is different in their handling of gaming lives. Some share the experience, and game experiences from the Wii to Kinect are evolving this all the time, but some couples decide that the experiences should be individual.

The most romantic thing that could be done for me this Valentine’s Day? For her to hand me my controller and say: “See if you can finish that campaign you’ve been playing for a while. I’m off into the other room to watch Home and Away…”

Comments (9)

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  1. Andy said:

    The wife loved her mention in this one. Good stuff Matt!

    Posted on: February 14 9:57 AM || Report || Reply

  2. Matt said:
    Andy wrote: The wife loved her mention in this one. Good stuff Matt!

    Ha! No problem! Only a brief piece but it was fun to write.

    Posted on: February 14 10:28 AM || Report || Reply

  3. Trent said:

    Nice piece man :)

    I think you're point about not-so-social gaming is spot on. I had a SC5 tournament with some friends the other week and it was so much more fun all playing in the same room than playing someone over Xbox LIVE; an entirely different experience.

    My girlfriend is the same as well; she doesn't mind me playing games and she actually likes them, just no-where near as much as me. She's usually quite busy too so she never has time to play which means I'm loads better than her and she never wants to play anything with me! But I love her and like you said, every relationship has it's differences.

    Posted on: February 14 11:47 AM || Report || Reply

  4. Simon said:

    Nice piece dude. My current girlfriend, Sam, is a bit of a gamer. Sometimes she likes to just watch me play some games. She likes the stories and as long as we are cuddling she isn't fussed really. Likes to sometimes have a dabble and has quite literally nicked my PSP for the moment, just so she can play Justice League Heroes which she is quite literally addicted to. Sometimes she just watches TV on my laptop, which she is doing at the moment while I play Final Fantasy XIII-2 which she is also quite happy about. I do make time for her too, putting off gaming so that we do something together. She does well to encourage my gaming, Valentines (early present) was FFXIII-2 and for Xmas she got me Skyrim. To me, she is pretty spot on for it. I think I have pretty much landed the perfect woman, loves me for my geekiness and gives me free reign on what I want to do socially. :D

    Posted on: February 14 2:42 PM || Report || Reply

  5. Matt said:

    Aww, Trent and Simon, you're too kind with your words and very lucky to have girlfriends like you do. I think the love in the air is having an impact on us all!

    Posted on: February 14 5:31 PM || Report || Reply

  6. Neil said:

    Great article, I'm quite fortunate as my other half understands my obsession for late night gaming sessions.
    There's an unwritten rule in our house that when the clock strikes 10pm, the Xbox goes on, hep laptop boots up and everyone is happy :D

    I am a very lucky man, and know I have it good, especially when I hear so many stories from friends who don't have such understanding partners :lol:

    Posted on: February 14 9:50 PM || Report || Reply

  7. Phil said:

    my wife is much the same as Neil's other half in that from 10pm the tv is mine to play most evenings. I loved this piece Matt 2 points really hit a chord with me; first was football manager taking precedent on an earlier relationship and second hoping for the other half to hand the controller over like a symbol of kingship as she sods off to watch home & away. :-)

    Posted on: February 16 7:37 PM || Report || Reply

  8. Matt said:

    Thanks for the kind words, gents. I enjoyed writing it very much. Glad others enjoyed reading it!

    Posted on: February 17 9:15 AM || Report || Reply

  9. Andy said:

    Well, this is how me and the wife do it. We both play different games at the same time, so we have seperate TVs. Mine's on wheels, so if we want to be in the same room, I wheel it in. When she wants to play Kinect or I play something that's loud, like a shooter, it's either headphones and wheel to the side to give her room, or back in the office.

    It works rather well. We can't wait to play Borderlands 2 in co-op in the same room.

    IMG_20120219_162529.jpg

    Posted on: February 19 8:21 AM || Report || Reply

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