Features & News

Physical Release of Hitman Delayed, Chuckle Brothers Dismayed

March 11, 2016, Author: Matt Parker

Hopefully that headline tells you everything you need to know. Hitman, which I’m in the process of reviewing and which had its first episode launched today, won’t be getting a physical release until 2017. That’s the bad news. Oh dear, oh dear.

The good news is that to celebrate the digital launch of the previously mentioned first episode Square Enix have decided to present to us ‘The Chuckle Brothers Play Real Life Hitman’. I assume Barry and Paul are gutted about having to wait for the ‘full’ game to hit the shelves as they seem to really dig the whole ‘being a Hitman’ thing. The video is about as stupid as you’d imagine, though hats off to the PR company behind this. It says a lot that this is the first piece of ‘news’ that I’ve written about in months.

As you can see, the brothers Chuckle are not to be messed with and will happily place your unconscious body into a blazing shed. They’re also not above telling a man to strike a woman. In Barry’s defence, he seems less keen on murdering everyone, though he does little to stop his brother, Paul Chuckle, as he commands Agent 47 to shoot someone ‘right between the eyes’. You wouldn’t see Bodger nor Badger behaving like this, that’s for sure.

With regards to the delay, a Square Enix representative who spoke to Polygon said the following;

“This year is all about delivering the best episodic experience for Hitman and that takes us to Autumn/Fall… Releasing the disc version in January just makes sure we have enough time after the season concludes to dedicate to getting the best disc version of the game out.”

Square Enix giveth and Square Enix taketh.